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Dog Eat Dog

UK 2001
produced by
FilmFour/Shona Productions/Tiger Aspect
directed by Moody Shoaibi
starring Mark Tonderai, Nathan Constance, David Oyelowo, Crunski, Alan Davies, Melanie Blatt, Gary Kemp, Steve Toussaint, Ricky Gervais, Geff Francis, Lexi Strauss, Daniel Kitson, Anna Wing, Rebecca Hazlewood, Dilys Laye, Jonah Russell, Stewart Wright, Pal Aron, Parhys-Jai Cato, Mandy Newton
written by Moody Shoaibi, Mark Tonderai

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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For DJ's Rooster (Mark Tonderai), CJ (David Oyelowo), Jess (Nathan Constance) & Chang (Crunski) the shit really seems to be going down:

Rooster finds himself having fucked up deals with both druglord Jesus (Gary Kempo) & pornking Tunde (Geff Francis), Jess figures he needs a car to impress cute but (in his eyes) rich Mina (Rebecca Hazlewood), CJ catches his girlfriend Kelly (Melanie Blatt) giving her ex Curtis (Jonah Russell) a handjob (though she claims a handjob is nothing sexual) & thus dumps her, & furthermore catches his mom performing on a porn tape, & Chang wants to take custody of his daughter Chantelle (Parhys-Jai Cato), whose mother (Mandy Newton) has turned their home into a drug-den - plus all four are continuously denied entrance into their favourite club by an arrogant bouncer (Ricky Gervais). To solveall of their problems, they figure they need money - a commodity they happen not to have. Even their attempt to let their manager Clint (Stewart Wright) sell their decks falls flat, & when Clint hires them for a gig, the whole thing ends in a riot in which the four lose all their records, too (& what's a DJ without decks & records ?).

So Chang & CJ, to improve the cashflow, decide to dognap the dog of tv-personality Edith Scarman (Dilys Laye) & hold the pooch for ransom - a stupid idea in itself, made all the worse by the fact that they break into the wrong house & abduct the beloved dog of druglord Jesus, who will stop at nothing to get his dog back ... whicvh is bad enough as it is, made all the worse by the fact that CJ accidently kills the dog - & Jesus is able to identify them from a surveillance tape ... & when our foursome thinks to be in a safe hidingplace, CJ gives their whereabouts away to his ex Kelly (who's pretty mad at him because he made her kill her dog), who knows nothing better to do than spill the beans to her ex, handjob-Curtis, who happens to be one of Jesus' securtiy guards ...

Taking all that into account, Jesus lets our quartet off relatively easy, forcing them to be his drug couriers ... but Rooster has had enough, & together with their friends Raj (Pal Aron) & Phil (Alan Davies), they plan a setup for Jesus, going to his place bugged & blackmailing Jesus with the tape ... which goes totally ust when Phil (on the outside) has forgotten to press record on his recorder, & Raj goes into Jesus' mansion posing as Tunde ... a short time before the real Tunde shows up too ... & then Jesus has of cozurse taken Chantelle, Chang's daughter, hostage ...

Somehow though, Rootster, CJ, Chang, & Jess come out of all the mix-up on top when the police comes in just in time, & while getting away, Jesus is run over by a truck ...

Furthermore, our heroes have nicked enough drug-money to fulfill all their wishes, including buying their favourite club ... that doesn't mean though that the bouncer would now let them in ...

 

Black humour aplenty in this comedy, that - despite many darker edges - never loses its light-footedness & manages to keep the story stringent despite four seperate plot-threads that only join up eventually. Great fun !

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!