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The Fearless Vampire Killers or Pardon me, but your Teeth are in my Neck
Tanz der Vampire / Dance of the Vampires

UK/USA 1966
produced by
Martin Ransohoff, Roman Polanski for MGM
directed by Roman Polanski
starring Jack McGowran, Roman Polanski, Sharon Tate, Ferdy Mayne, Alfie Bass, Terry Downes, Fiona Lewis, Iain Quarrier, Jessie Robbins, Ronald Lacey, Sydney Bromley, André Malandrinos, Otto Diamant, Matthew Walters
written by Roman Polanski, Gérard Brach, music by Krysztof Komeda

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Professor Ambronsius (Jack McGowran), a scientist in the field of bats & vampirism, & his only student Alfred (Roman Polanski) have travelled to the Carpathian mountains on the trail of the last vampires. Finally they reach Chagal's (Alfie Bass) inn, a place littered with signs of vampirism (like garlic hanging everywhere), but all the villagers seem less than likely to even admit the existence of vampires, not even a nearby castle ... that is until hunchback Koukul (Terry Downes) - a loyal servant of the local vampire - comes to the inn & catches a glimpse of Chagal's lovely daughter Sarah (Sharon Tate), & that very same night, the vampire - count Krolock (Ferdy Mayne) comes to get her.

Chagal, desperate about hjving lost his daughter, goes after the vampire ... but only the next morning, he is found sucked dry of all & any blood ... but Ambronsius' attempts to properly stake the vampirized innkeeper are cut short by Chagal's wife (Jessie Robbins).

Chagal soon comes to life again as a vampire & even tries to suck dry his chambermaid Magda (Fiona Lewis), but is interrupted while trying & escapes to the castle ... which gives the professor & Alfred a notion as to where the castle is ...

Arriving at the castle late that night, Alfred & the professor find count Krolock a charming & learned host, but that doesn't keep the professor from his intention to stake him the next day ... which is prevented though when he gets stuck in the window of the vampire's crypt, & Alfred doesn't prove much of a vampire slayer on his own ... & when trying to save the professor, he is sidetracked by finding Sarah, whom he has since fallen in love with, & whom he promises to save, even though she shows little intention of being saved ...

When Alfred finally finds time to save the professor, the vampires already start leaving their graves, & after Alfred also had a near-fatal encounter with Herbert (Iain Quarrier), the count's son, they get entrapped by the count on one of the castle's towers.

However our heroes manage to escape the trap &, disguised as vampires themselves, participate in a ball the count holds this night, where they intend to save Sarah ... a plan that's almost spoiled by the ballroom's mirror, which (since vampires cast no reflection) unmasks Alfred, the professopr & Sarah as mere humans ...

Somehow however, our heroes can make a getaway with Sarah, even shake the vampires & evil hunchback Kukoul of their trail - when Alfred has to painfully encounter that Sarah has already been turned into a vampire herself ...

 

Probably the best vampire comedy of all times, thanks to great tongue-in-cheek acting from all of the involved, very detailed sets & direction that would do many serious vampire movies honour, carefully created atmosphere - something only very rarely found in horror-comedies at all -, & knowledge & respect of its source material.

 

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD