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Freddy vs. Jason

USA/Italy 2003
produced by
Sean S. Cunningham, Stokely Chaffin (executive), Douglas Curtis (executive), Robert Shaye (executive), Renee Witt (executive) for New Line, Cecchi Gori Group, Avery Pix, WTC Productions, Yannix Technology Corporation
directed by Ronny Yu
starring Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Kelly Rowland, Jason Ritter, Chris Marquette, Katharine Isabelle, Brendan Fletcher, Lochlyn Munro, Kyle Labine, Tom Butler, David Kopp, Paula Shaw, Jesse Hutch, Zack Ward, Garry Chalk, Brent Chapman, Spencer Stump, Joelle Antonissen, Alistair Abell, Robert Shaye, Chris Gauthier, Colby Johannson, Kimberly Warnat, Kevin Hansen, Alex Green, Odessa Munroe
written by Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, music by Graeme Revell, special effects makeup by WCT Productions, visual effects by Cinesite, Pixel Magic, Digital Dimension

A Nightmare on Elm Street/Freddy Krueger, Friday the 13th/Jason Voorhees

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Because the kids of Springwood no longer remember him, Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) - unable to appear in their dreams - is condemned to hell. There however he stumbles over Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger), & figures if he sends Jason back to earth to go on a killing spree through Springwood, Freddy's name will inevitably pop up somewhere, giving him back his powers over the living. Of course the plan works, & soon Freddy can kill all the children he wants through their dreams ... wouldn't there be Jason, who more often than not beats him to the kids to kill them himself. & then there is of course the usual bunch of meddling kids: virginal Lori (Monica Keena), her boyfriend Will (Jason Ritter) - who was one of the few kids who remembered Freddy but was put into a sanatorium & drugged in order not to dream (hence depriving Freddy of his battlefield) -, Kia (Kelly Rowland of pop/R'n'N-group Destiny's Child-fame), young & nerdy but inventive Linderman (Chris Marquette), dopehead Freeburg (Kyle Labine) & Stubbs (Lochlyn Munro), who at some point figure out to escape Freddy they have to get the drugs from sanatorium, but unfortunately their plan goes haywire when Freddy possesses Freeburg & puts Jason - who is already after the meddling kids himself - to sleep via an injection (even though his temporary body is cut apart) to fight him in his dream-realm.

Then it gets really stupid as the kids device yet another plan that involves Lori pulling Freddy out of her dreams into the real world & at the same time waking up Jason, 6 all is supposed to happen on Camp Crystal (from the original Friday the 13th). After a long fight with tons of explosions it seems that Freddy has killed Jason but survived the ordeal, now menacingly closing in on Lori, until Jason, with his dying breath, stabs him from behind, & Lori beheading him.

Of our human heroes - need I say it - only Lori & Will have survived.

 

Despite plotting Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees against each other sounds like a fun idea & the movie even has relatively decent production values & was quite successful with a mainstream audience too, it is just the pits: It tells exactly the same slasher story that has been told for the last 25 years, uses the same clichés & characters, as well as including many godawful highschool-scenes, with a storyline that is more messed up & stupid than most of the others in the A Nightmare on Elm Street-series, while lacking all of its surreal elements (this is about nightmares after all). & another thing - this is supposed to be a horrormovie, so why isn't it in the least scary ?

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD