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Goldilocks and the Three Bares
Goldilocks' Three Chicks

USA 1963
produced by
Thomas J. Dowd, David F. Friedman (as Davis Freeman) for D&R Pictures
directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis (as Lewis H.Gordon)
starring Rex Marlow, Allison Louise Downe (as Vickie Miles), William Kerwin, Netta Mallina, Guy Bonde, Judy Parsons (as Jean Clyde), Craig Maudlay jr, William R.Johnson (as Johnson R. Williams), Joey Maxim
written by William R.Johnson, music by Paul J.Gillette, Lathrop Wells

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Alison (Allison Louise Downe) and Cynthia (Judy Parsons), the girlfriends of crooner Eddie (Rex Marlow) and Tommy (William Kerwin) have the strange habit of disappearing from the face of the earth every weekend, which pisses Eddie and Tommy off so much that one Friday, Tommy secretly follows the two girls and find out that they are spending their weekends at a nudist camp, in the altogether.

Of course, Eddie and Tommy are totally shocked at first (remember, this is '63, when nudity wasn't something you just would do), but then Alison explains to them the healthy effects of nudism - on both a physical and mental level - and invites them to visitors day at her nudist camp. There the two learn more about the nudist lifestyle - well, they just go waterskiing, horseback riding, yachting and play ball, all in the nude ... and in the end, both Tommy and Eddie hit the stage of the nudist camp (still naked, of course), to do what they do best, comedy and singing, respectively.

Obviously, they have come to terms with their girlfriends' lifestyles ...

 

A typical early 1960's nudist flick, full of people turning their backs (and bottoms) to the camera and croughing unnaturally to not show their priamry sex organs (this was still a big no-no back then, even in nudist movies), with a story that tells nothing much in particular but drags on and on about the nudist lifestyle and eventually resembles more of a travelogue than anything else. Director Herschell Gordon Lewis, more prominent for his gore flicks (like this film, his trailblazing Blood Feast premiered in 1963), seems like a fish out of water here, his raw style of filmmaking that is usually so enjoyable just seems indifferent here and his trademark tongue-in-cheek humour seems mostly amiss here. As nudist films go, this one is run-of-the-mill ... which says much about the quality (or rather lack thereof) of this film.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD