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The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol

USA 2011
produced by
Aramis Sartorio (= Tommy Pistol), Karen Sartorio (= Gia Paloma) for Baby Yetti Productions
directed by Aramis Sartorio (= Tommy Pistol)
starring Aramis Sartorio (= Tommy Pistol), Karen Sartorio (= Gia Paloma), Caleb Emerson, Vincent Cusimano, Mia Tyler, Kimberly Kane, Camilla Lim, Al Burke, Sean Cain (voice), Daisy Sparks, Jon Lee Brody, Jordan Lawson, Jesse Lee Nunn, Dave Corsile, John Karyus, Sweta Lamichhane, Shaun Fletcher
written by Aramis Sartorio (= Tommy Pistol), Karen Sartorio (= Gia Paloma), music by MC Comczechmi, special effects makeup by Tom Devlin/1313 FX

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Hollywood: Tommy Pistol (Aramis Sartorio) is a good-for-nothing wannabe actor, who has troubles even making it to auditions, while he hasn't held a job for more than a month in years. When he's fired from yet another job and he tries to sell it to his wife (Karen Sartorio) as a chance to pursue his dreams, it proves too much for her, and she packs their son and leaves him, just like that, and threatens him not to call her unless he gets his act together.

One year later: Tommy's life has spun out of control even more, as he seems to be nothing more than a semi-conscious wreck hooked on fast food and porn. And while he microwaves a hot dog for a dangerously long time and attaches his president to a penis pump, he dozes off and has dreams about the life he could have had ...

  • Tommy is a young actor who has just come from New York on a job offer, not realizing he is to be the killer in a snuff movie. Naively, he gruesomely kills girl after girl, including one (Mia Tyler) using a cheese grater, always believing everything is just special effects, until one of his supposed victims (Kimberly Kane) proves to be an undercover cop, and the minute she has freed herself, she shoots everybody on site - but Tommy won't let her steal his spotlight ...
  • Tommy somehow gains access to a movieset where Arnold Schwarzenegger (Alan Burke) shoots his comeback fitness video. He skins Schwarzenegger and wears his skin to become him ... but that works a bit too well, since in Schwarzenegger's skin he becomes a violent brute, and he kills everybody on set - except for a skinny oriental girl (Camilla Lim), whose spirit animal (a dog voiced by Sean Cain) tells her to fight Tommy/Schwarzenegger to death ...
  • Tommy is a porn director. The star of his latest production Daisy (Daisy Sparks) is bitten by a radioactive spider, and now she mutates into some sort of zombie, but not only her but everybody who has contact with her. For some reason, Tommy succeeded to avoid just that, but with everybody around him already zombified, that might not be such a good thing ...

If you think the fate that awaited Tommy in his dreams though, wait till you see what happens when he's awoken by the exploding hot dog in his microwave ...


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Granted, The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol is not exactly the most subtle comedy - heck, the film is pretty much carried by dirty jokes and excessive violence. And one can easily argue that the movie has certain weaknesses concerning storytelling, and at times, Aramis Sartorio overdoes his role a bit too much, acting-wise.

But you know, all this matters only marginally this time around, as basically, The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol is pure madness, an over-the-top mixture of comicbook-, grindhouse- and porn-motives presented in a no-holds-barred sort of way. I mean, after all this is a snuff film parody, a skinned Arnold Schwarzenegger and porn zombies all rolled into one, so how much subtlety can you expect - in other words, this might not be a perfect movie ... but exactly because of that, it's the perfect party movie!

It probably should be sold with beer attached to it J...


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




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