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Hollywood Boulevard

USA 1976
produced by
Jon Davison, Roger Corman (executive) for New World
directed by Joe Dante, Allan Arkush
starring Candice Rialson, Jeffrey Kramer, Dick Miller, Mary Woronov, Rita George, Richard Doran, Tara Strohmeier, Paul Bartel, John Kramer, Billy C. Farlow, George Frayne, George Wagner, W.L. Luckey, David Boyle, Glenn K. Shimada, Joseph McBride, Barbara Pieters, Shawn Pieters, Sue Veneer, Charles B.Griffith, Miller Drake, Godzina, Roberta Dean, Milton Kahn, Todd McCarthy, Allan Arskush, Forrest J.Ackerman, Lewis Teague, Joe Dante, Danny Opatoshu, Jonathan Demme
written by Danny Opatoshu (as Patrick Hobby), music by Andy Stein

Robby the Robot

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Naive Candy (Candice Rialson) comes to Hollywood to make it big as a moviestar, however, the agent she signs up with, Walter Paisley (Dick Miller) proves to be low key, low key enough that he advices her to go look for a job herself ... and soon enough, she ends up as the getaway driver in a bankrobbery - and she only narrowly escapes the police. However, this gives Walter an idea - to have her hired as a stunt driver on Erich von Leppe's (Paul Bartel) latest film, where she also meets writer Patrick (Jeffrey Kramer), whom she soon falls in love with, and self-centered B-movie star Mary McQueen (Mary Woronov), who sees all other girls on the set as direct competition, even if they are not actresses.

Candy's stuntdriving goes better than expected, ans doon she is hired to shoot a girls-with guns film in the Philippines, this time as an actress, with pretty much the same crew. The Filipino film however turns out to be a ttraumatic experience, as on one hand one of her colleagues, Jill (Tara Strohmeier) dies for real under mysteriuos circumstances during a big shootout scene, and on the other hand in a rape scene, Candy is almost raped for real. And as if that wasn't enough, at the US-premiere of the film (on a triple bill in a drive-in) Candy is almost raped again ...

Next it's off to a science fiction movie with lots of crazy cars and stunts (actually the cars were borrowed from Death Race 2000, another New World film of the time - ironically directed by Paul Bartel -, plus a lot of the carstunt footage was lifted from that movie as well) but shot pretty much by teh same crew, only this time several attempts on the lives of teh starlets are made, Mary's car is blown up when she is only a few feet away, Candy suddenly realizes that the brakes on her car are severed, and then Candy's colleague Bobbi (Rita George) is found with a slashed throat. Now Candy wants out, but Patrick, her scriptwriter boyfriend tries his best to make her stay - so much so that she concludes he himself must be the killer, especially after she finds newspaper clippings of the murders in his study. She makes a quick getaway, and when Patrick comes after her to explain, his tyre blows ...

Walter in the meantime gets worried about Candy, one of his best clients, and calls Mary if she's seen her - but instead he tells Mary where he thinks she might be - only moments before Mary is revealed to be the killer. But by that time, Mary has already caught up with Candy beneath the Hollywood sign and desperately tries to kill her in any which way possible ... but enter Patrick as the knight in shining armour, who turns the tide, and ultimately Mary is squashed by the Y of the Hollywood sign, the very letter she manipulated herself.

Patrick later has made the whole story into a script with Candy as herself playing the role of her life.

And Walter Paisley, you might ask (or might not, actually) - He is desperately trying to sign Robby the Robot for a role in the remake of Gone with the Wind ...

 

Though considered by many (who might not even have seen the film) to be a cult classic, Hollywood Boulevard as such is only so-so. Sure, some of the injokes are a treat for trashfilm afficionados, and the fact that New World, one of the key studios for grindhouse fare in the 1970's, actually produced this one can at least be called bold. The downside of the film though is that the film at times gets too centered on references while the paperthin plot gets more and more banal until it culminates in a kitsch ending. Add to this the fact that both leads Candice Rialson and Jeffrey Kramer lack the charisma to carry the movie get a rough idea about the movie's qualities (or lack thereof). However, in the acting department at least Dick Miller (who has all the funniest lines), Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov) make the best of their scenes.

Not enough to save the movie as a whole maybe, but they save it from being a desaster, or a mere fanboy film.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!