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House of 1000 Corpses

USA 2003
produced by
Andy Gould, Andrew D. Given (executive), Gary Oseary (executive) for Universal
directed by Rob Zombie
starring Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, Karen Black, Chris Hardwick, Erin Daniels, Jennifer Jostyn, Rainn Wilson, Tom Towles, Walt Goggins, Dennis Fimple, Harrison Young, Michael J. Pollard
written by Rob Zombie, music by Scott Humphrey, Rob Zombie, special effects by Art F.X., digital effects by the Howard Anderson Company

Firefly clan

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Halloween: A Quartet in their young to mid-twenties (Chris Hardwick, Erin Daniels, Jennifer Jostyn, Rainn Wilson) are on the search for off-beat roadshow attractions in America, & on their trip they meet freakshow-/gasstation-/chickengrill-owner & Dark Clown Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), who, apart from giving them a tour through his place, also gives them the idea to look for demented surgeon Doctor Satan, who is supposed top have died around here ... Soon they meet up with blond bimbo hitchhiker Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon), who introduces them to the rest of the Firefly family (among their ranks Bill Moseley & Karen Black (brrrr)), who just delight in being freaky (you know, wearing leather masks, kidnapping & killing 5 cheerleaders, ... the usual stuff), so the atmosphere of this get-together soon is poised & the youngsters leave, but instead of letting them escape, the Fireflysattack them, capture them, kill some of them, having the rest of them put into a coffin & lowered down the well, where soon enough one girl is the sole survivor, & she should live to regret it ... in the caves adjoining the well, the Fireflys have built their own personal version of hell, with each cave showing images more bizarre & menaces more nightmarish ... luckily the girl escapes to the surface, & is there picked up by Captain Spaulding in his car & driven to safety ... well, no, back to the family actually !

 

Rather obviously, Rob Zombie wanted to make something like the ultimate trash-horror-movie - he failed though. This is just a patchwork of gross scenes, held together by some trippy sequences, all spliced together rather at random, though. Furthermore, he borrows quite freely (& very obviously) from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but also from sources as diverse as Creature from the Black Lagoon, Evil Dead, Hellraiser, Munsters go Home, Nightbreed or The Wolf Man, without putting it into a proper context though, thus the movie remains utterly pointless. It's not a total failure, though, at least it's competently made (& some horror fans might even find it delighting), it's more like a failed experiment.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD