Hot Picks

- Ready for My Close Up 2019

- Talk of the Dead 2016

- Thirst 2023

- 10/31 Part 3 2022

- Bigfoot Unleashed, Part VII 2023

- The Island of Lost Girls 2022

- Everybody Dies by the End 2022

- Little Heroes 2023

- The City of Dunwich 2023

- Static Codes 2023

- Ariel: Back to Buenos Aires 2022

- Lights Over Montgomery County 2023

- Trauma Therapy Psychosis 2023

- Showdown in Yesteryear 2022

- Failure! 2023

- Million to One 2023

- American: An Odyssey to 1947 2022

- Fck'n Nuts 2023

- What I Meant to Say Was... 2020

- The Curse of Willow Song 2020

- Ex Tentorium Lux 2023

- Psychic Vampire 2022

- Ghost 2023

- The House 2023

- That's a Wrap 2023

- Night of the Caregiver 2023

- Girl Gone Bad 2022

- Clean Up Duty 2023

- Megalomaniac 2022

- Live and Die in East LA 2023

- Insidious Inferno 2023

- On the Trail of Bigfoot: Land of the Missing 2023

- #ChadGets-TheAxe 2022

- Subject 2023

- Zombie Rage 2023

- Into the Spotlight 2023

- I Am Rage 2023

- In Its Wake 2023

- The Finale 2023

- H.I.M 2017

- Stronghold 2023

- Ouija Witch 2023

- Reveille 2023

- Window Seat 2023

- After 2023

- Wolfkin 2022

- Trace Part 2 2021

- Summoning the Spirit 2023

- Garthwaite: A Film by Ben Kurns 2023

- Waking Nightmare 2023

- August Underground 2001

- Lumberjack: The Son Says Hello 2023

- The Coffee Table 2022

- Pareidolia 2023

- First Impressions Can Kill 2017

- A Killer Conversation 2014

- Star Crash 1979

- Strangler of the Swamp 1946

If I Had a Million

USA 1932
produced by
Emanuel Cohen for Paramount
directed by Ernst Lubitsch, Norman Taurog, Stephen Roberts, Norman Z. McLeod, James Cruze, William A. Seiter, H. Bruce Humberstone
starring Gary Cooper, Charles Laughton, George Raft, Jack Oakie, Richard Bennett, Charles Ruggles, Alison Skipworth, W.C. Fields, Mary Boland, Roscoe Karns, May Robson, Wynne Gibson, Gene Raymond, Frances Dee, Lucien Littlefield, Joyce Compton, Blanche Friderici, Dewey Robinson, Margaret Seddon
screenplay by Claude Binyon, Whitney Bolton, Malcolm Stuart Boylan, John Bright, Sidney Buchman, Lester Cole, Isabel Dawn, Boyce DeGaw, Oliver H.P. Garrett, Harvey Gates, Grover Jones, Ernst Lubitsch, Lawton Mackall, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, William Slavens McNutt, Robert Sparks, based on the story Windfall by Robert Hardy Andrews, music by John Leipold

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin



Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

Charlie Chan



Dick Tracy

Dr. Mabuse

Dr. Orloff

Doctor Who


Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory



Flash Gordon


Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu





El Hombre Lobo

Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim


Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution


Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III


Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong


The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

Philo Vance


Robin Hood

The Saint

Santa Claus

El Santo

Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

Sherlock Holmes


Star Trek

Sukeban Deka



Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen


Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman




John Glidden (Richard Bennett) is an old rich man who'll probably not live much longer - and suddenly he finds himself surrounded by vultures who want his money, both family and business "friends". He doesn't like any of them and can't stand their behaviour, so he decides to give a million Dollars each to eight strangers he finds in the phonebook at random:

  • Henry Peabody (Charles Ruggles) works at a China shop, but has the tendency to drop things - and the broken China is deducted month after month from his paycheck, leaving him rather strapped for money. So with the million in hand, his first way is to the shop to smash everything in it ...
  • A prostitute (Wynne Gibson) uses the money to quit her job and move into the best hotel in town.
  • Eddie Jackson (George Raft) is a forger, and when he shows up with the million Dollar cheque, nobody believes it's authentic, which puts his life on a downward spiral.
  • Emily (Alison Skipworth) and Rollo (W.C. Fields) have been caused to have car accidents by street bullies a few times to often - so with the money, they buy themselves several cars to crash into street bullies.
  • A man on death row (Gene Raymond) has to find out not even a full million can buy him a new lease on life.
  • Upon receiving the money, a little office clerk (Charles Laughton) immediately sticks it to the boss.
  • A marine (Gary Cooper) in detention simply cannot believe his luck, so once he's out he thinks he makes a good deal when he "sells" the cheque to an illiterate foodstand owner (Lucien Littlefield), just to get a date with the man's waitress (Joyce Compton). The date ends in a brawl that sends our marine right back to detention, but the foodstand owner and the waitress can finally live it up.
  • Ms Walker (May Robson) don't like the way she's treated in her retirement home, which is run like a penitentary - so with the money she buys the place ...

Giving his money to random strangers has made John Glidden so happy that he has found a new zest for life ... much to the dismay of the vultures populating his premises.


Available on DVD !

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility !!!

Given the many big names in cast and crew, one would expect If I Had a Million to be a great film, or at least a movie with hints of greatness ... but it quite simply isn't, it's more of an all-star disaster, an anthology based on a stupid premise that never seems to find its own voice, so it alternates between comedy and drama, with some of the episodes not containing any narrative to speak of at all (like those with the prostitute and the office clerk), while others (like the death row story or the one about the forger) trying to hard to hammer home their point, or are to foreseeable in their happy ending (like the one about the retirement home). The funniest of the bunch is the carcrash with W.C. Fields, actually, but not so much for brilliant writing or direction - just you cannot really fail if you have W.C. Fields intentionally crashing cars, now can you?

In all though, a major disappointment.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


Feeling lucky ?
Want to
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results ?

The links below
will take you
just there !!!

Find If I Had a Million
at the amazons ...


Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)

Germany (East AND West)

Looking for imports ?
Find If I Had a Million here ...

Your shop for all things Thai

Something naughty ?
(Must be over 18 to go there !)

x-rated  find If I Had a Million at

Thanks for watching !!!



Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD