Hot Picks

- There's No Such Thing as Zombies 2020

- Ready for My Close Up 2019

- Watch the Skies 2022

- Dream Hacker 2025

- Love and Comminication 2022

- If I Could Ride Again 2025

- Freak Off 2025

- Lavender Men 2025

- Lost Cos 2023

- Sound of the Surf 2022

- The Stillness 2025

- Frankie Freako 2024

- The Texas Witch 2025

- Cannibal Mukbang 2023

- Bleeding 2024

- No Choice 2025

- Nahual 2025

- Bitter Souls 2025

- A Very Long Carriage Ride 2025

- The Matriarch 2024

- Oxy Morons 2025

- Ed Kemper 2025

- Piglet 2025

- Walter, Grace & the Submarine 2024

- Midnight in Phoenix 2025

- Dorothea 2025

- Mauler 2025

- Consecration 2023

- The Death of Snow White 2025

- Franklin 2025

- ApoKalypse 2025

- Live and Die in East LA 2023

- A Season for Love 2025

- The Arkansas Pigman Massacre 2025

- Visceral: Between the Ropes of Madness 2012

- The Darkside of Society 2023

- Jackknife 2024

- Family Property 2: More Blood 2025

- Feral Female 2025

- Amongst the Wolves 2024

- Autumn 2023

- Bob Trevino Likes It 2024

- A Hard Place 2025

- Finding Nicole 2025

- Juliet & Romeo 2025

- Off the Line 2024

- First Moon 2025

- Healing Towers 2025

- Final Recovery 2025

- Greater Than 2014

- Self Driver 2024

- Primal Games 2025

- Grumpy 2023

- Swing Bout 2024

- Dalia and the Red Book 2024

- Project MKGEXE 2025

- Two to One 2024

- Left One Alive 2025

- Talk of the Dead 2016

- A Killer Conversation 2014

- First Impressions Can Kill 2017

- Star Crash 1979

- Strangler of the Swamp 1946

Les Gardiennes du Penitencier

Jailhouse Wardress
Women Behind Bars / Frauengefängnis 2

France / Switzerland 1975
produced by
Variety/Eurociné
directed by Jess Franco (as Allan W. Steeve)
starring Lina Romay, Pamela Stanford, Nadine Pascal, Monica Swinn, Paul Muller, Ronald Weiss, Roger Darton, Jess Franco, Eric Falk

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin

Batman

Bigfoot

Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

Charlie Chan

Cinderella

Deerslayer

Dick Tracy

Dick Turpin

Dr. Mabuse

Dr. Orloff

Doctor Who

Dracula

Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory

Emmanuelle

Fantomas

Flash Gordon

Frankenstein

Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu

Fuzzy

Gamera

Godzilla

Hercules

El Hombre Lobo

Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim

Justine

Kamen Rider

Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution

Lobo

Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III

Maciste

Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong

Mothra

The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

Philo Vance

Quatermass

Robin Hood

The Saint

Santa Claus

El Santo

Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

Sherlock Holmes

Spider-Man

Star Trek

Sukeban Deka

Superman

Tarzan

Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen

Winnetou

Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman

Yojimbo

Zatoichi

Zorro

A Typical South-American prison: It's run by an ex-Nazi, the wardress is a sadistic dyke in (very) hot pants, the (fake) prison doctor Mar (Paul Muller) likes to make little girls cry, the guards are rapists & the inmates are nymphomaniacs, lesbians or both.

Unfortunately there's Lola, who writes an anonymous letter of complaint to the gouvernor, ignorant to the fact that the gouvernor is the ex-Nazi who ordered it all in the first place, & he soon has her found out by his trusted guard Nestor, who uses rape as a means of interrogation, but takes a liking to the girl & hesitates before he sells her to the gouvernor - who by then already got the news from Teresa, a fellow inmate of Lola, who has taken a liking to the gouvernor's ways of handling things.

But the gouvernor shows mercy to the girl, even shows himself favourably towards her, which makes Nestor furious enough to want to shoot hm, but Lola saves the gouvernor from Nestor's machine gun. To show his gratitude, the gouvernor lets Lola escape, but Teresa & Nestor soon are in hot pursuit, catcdh her & drag her back to jail.

In the meantime, the new fish Maria - having been sent to prison for killing her uncle (Jess Franco) by accident when he wanted to rape her - comes up with an escape-plan of her own, which involves her, Berta (Monica Swinn) & the crazy Rosario seducing doctor Mar & killing him. Then they make a getaway through the jungle but are - almost at the coast - caught by a guard (Eric Falk), who immediately rapes Berta, before being shot by a fellow guard. The other 2 girls make it to a house - unfortunately it's the house of the gouvernor, & he has them gunned down on the spot.

But it's not long before he is gunned down himself by an assassin who has been hired by a group of Jews determined to bring elusive ex-SS-bigshots to justice.

 

Yes, this is a piece of sleaze, yes, the plot makes next to no sense, & yes, any fleshed out charactrers are non-existent in the movie - yet it's strangely enjoyable in a dirty kind of way: Director Jess Franco once again threw realism immediately out of the window, instead steeped the plot in trashy WIP-clichés & schoolboy-jokes, creating a netherworld of torture & sadism with women losing their cloths on a whim & men considering rape as a way of living on the cheap. This sounds despicable of course, but somehow it comes across as a lighthearted piece of trash cinema.

Legend has it by the way that this was shot back-to-back with Jess Franco's Frauengefängnis, with the producer of that movie, Erwin C.Dietrich, unaware that franco was simultanously to his movie shooting another movie for another producer at his expenses. Erwin C.Dietrich tends to tell this little anecdote at every occasion (without any bitterness though, since his Jess Franco productions from the 70's continue to make him some money even today), while Franco strongly denies that. It does look though as if Franco used a few leftover-scenes, cut-outs or even bloopers from Frauengefängnis for Les Gardiennes du Penitencier (the fake slow-motion-scene in which Lina Romay kills Jess Franco readily comes to mind).

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

Feeling lucky?
Want to
search
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results?
(commissions earned)

The links below
will take you
just there!!!

Find Jailhouse Wardress
at the amazons ...

USA  amazon.com

Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)  amazon.co.uk

Germany (East AND West)  amazon.de

Looking for imports?
Find Jailhouse Wardress here ...

Thailand  eThaiCD.com
Your shop for all things Thai


Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!