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Justice League of Pornstar Heroes

USA 2011
produced by
Jerry Cuban, Alex Cuban (executive) for Extreme Comixxx
directed by Sinister X
starring Chanel Preston, Tom Byron, Ron Jeremy, Andy San Dimas, Evan Stone, Amber Rayne, Shyla Stylez, Kristina Rose, Tommy Gunn, Roxanne Hall, Bill Bailey, Barry Scott, Haley Cummings, Rocco Reed, Talon, Scott Lyons, Jenna Presley
based on the comicbook Justice League of America published by DC Comics, special effects by Plixar

Justice League, Superman, Batman, Robin, Flash, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Lex Luthor, Catwoman, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Someone is threatening Porntropolis with a weather bomb, so the Justice League, consisting of the seven greatest heroes of porn - Superman (Rocco Reed), Batman (Evan Stone) and Robin (Scott Lyons), Wonder Woman (Chanel Preston), Green Lantern (Talon), the Flash (Barry Scott) and Aquaman (Bill Bailey) -, convene and decide to investigate by questioning the usual suspects - and in Pornopolis, questioning apparently means fucking. As a consequence, Batman and Robin double-team (or should that be double-penetrate) Catwoman (Roxanne Hall), Superman gets intimate with sinister stage magician Zatanna (Kristina Rose), the Flash does gangster moll the Boss (Andy San Dimas), and Wonder Woman seduces militaristic villain the General (Tommy Gunn). Catwoman somehow wins the upper hand against her penetrators and makes Batman and Robin her captives, and it's up to Green Lantern to save them, to which end he has to fight and fuck harlequinesque Harley Quinn (Amber Rayne). Wonder Woman on the other hand manages to squeeze the location of the bomb out of the General thanks to her truth juices, and the justice leaguers are then quick to find and destroy it - and to reward them all, Wonder Woman treats her superfriends to a blow-bang, all except for Aquanman, who decided to duck out of the adventure early in order to save Atlantis - or so he said.

But wait, after our heroes have had their fun, Lex Luthor (Tom Byron), who has conspired with Poison Ivy (Shyla Stylez) and the Penguin (Ron Jeremy,) shows up as a holographic image, telling them they have only defused a decoy bomb, the real one will go off in just two minutes, and ...

To be continued ...

 

Somehow I wanted to like this film, basically because the people behind it clearly love comicbooks and seem to understand them much better than big Hollywood studios, inasmuch as they are not afraid to highlight the campy and (unintentionally) funny sides of the comicbook this is based on. On the other hand though, the film often thinks it's funnier than it actually is, could have done with a few more narrative scenes, and the hardcore sex sequences are not properly woven into the movie's plot and thus bring the story to a grinding halt a few times too often - true, that's the problem with most porn parodies (or should that be porn hommages?), but that doesn't make it any better.

As for the sex: You might want to be into cosplay sex to fully enjoy the scenes presented here, but if so, everything is done pretty much as you expect it, and it probably how much you like the individual scenes probably depends on the costumes, girls and boys more than anything else ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD