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Küss mich, Monster / Bésame Monstruo

Kiss me, Monster
Castle of the Doomed / Das Schloss der Gehenkten

West Germany/Spain 1968
produced by
Adrian Hoven, José López Moreno, Pier A.Caminnecci (associate) for Aquila, Films Montana
directed by Jess Franco
starring Janine Reynaud, Rosanna Yanni, Adrian Hoven, Chris Howland, Michel Lemoine, Ana Casares, Manuel Velasco, Marta Reves, Bernabe Barta Barri, Manolo Otero, María Antonia Redondo, Jess Franco, Dorit Dom
screnplay by Jess Franco, based on a story by Karl-Heinz Mannchen, music by Jerry van Rooyen, art direction by Graf Pilati, set decoration by Carlos Viudes

Red Lips, Franco's Aquila trilogy

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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One evening, Diana (Janine Reynaud) and Regina (Rosanna Yanni), otherwise known as the Red Lips detective agency/stripper duo, receive a caller who hands them a sheet of music ... but is killed immeditately afterwards. Our girls are quick to throw the body into the sea, then though they start investigating, while taking up a job at a stripjoint as cover.

Soon, they plunge headfirst into a mystery that involves a mad but dead scientist who has discovered the secret of life, but his secret seems to have somehow vanished with his death. And then there's the masonic sect, the Abilenes, who want to get their hands on the secret, and foreign agents from pretty much every country. And then there's Bertrand's equally mad assistant Jacques Maurier (Michel Lemoine), who wants to replicate his master's experiments, but without success. and then there's of course Andy (Manuel Velasco), a young man who grows way too attached to the girls to not be somehow involved in the mystery.

Be that as it may, people start dieing left and right of the Red Lips, and both girls are repeatedly abducted, and questioned about what they know about Bertrand's invention - which in fact is pretty little.

In the end though, they find Bertrand's invention hidden away in a windmill, which can only be opened using the tune on the sheet of music the girls received int he beginning ... but from here on, everybody turns traitor, Andy, who is shot, the Abilenes, who are all gunned down by a rogue Interpol agent, then the agent too wants to cheat the girls out of the invention, as do inspector McClune (Chris Howland) and inspector Kramer (Bernabe Barta Barri), who eventually turns out to be Bertrand himself, who is not dead after all but only tried to fool everybody.

But with ease, our girls overcome all their foes and in the end decide to use Bertrand's invention for their own ends - to build themselves men for you-know-what.


Quite obviously, this film was not based on a script but was done more the make-it-up-as-we-go-along-way, so the plot is full of inconsistencies, leaps of reason and the like, and it's quite probably the weakest of Jess Fanco's Aquila trilogy ...

But that doesn't mean the film is all bad: The tongue-in-cheek-approach to both the genre as such and pulp fixtures of any kind is irresistible, once you manage to refuse to take the film seriously (which it was never meant to be), and Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni - as the detective duo who seems to stumble in and out of the mystery with no real idea of what's going on and complaining about all the people dieing on them - are nothing short of hilarious. And then there's of course the consciously cheesy 1960's sets, props and outfits, weird stage performances and intentionally silly dialogues ... in a way, you just have to love this film !


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD