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Kung Fu and Titties

USA 2013
produced by
Robert A. Chapnick, John Archer Lundgren (executive), E. Joseph McConnell (executive), Shane McConnell (executive) for KFT the Movie, Nums Films
directed by Joseph McConnell
starring Raine Brown, Sean Molnar, Mike Marino, Seregon O'Dassey, John Archer Lundgren, Alisa Lova,l Evelyn Vinyl, Jeannette Trexler, Michael Emery, Stanislav Shkilnyi, Tony Vo, Leah Bay, Lori Cecilia (= Lori Ann Kim), Sophia Disgrace, Bronson Pinchot, Shawn C. Phillips
written by Joseph McConnell, Rob Cottignies, Melissa Libutti, music by Dave Allen, Melissa Bartley, Nathan Cervino, Leech Ernowetz

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Richard Titties (Sean Molnar) is a pretty talent-free Mixed Martial Arts fighter who counts it as a success when he's knocked out during a fight. Then though his girlfriend Cynthia (Seregon O'Dassey) is kidnapped by a villain named Zeefros (John Archer Lundgren), who mistakenly mistakes her for Richard's sister, B-movie star Raine Brown (Raine Brown - duh!) and who wants to marry her. Zeefros also lives on some sort of parallel world, and when Richard follows him there, he learns that he is the "chosen one" of that realm ... but unfortunately, the only man to help him in the other world is a man in a gorilla suit (Mike Marino), who's of course also a real prick.

Cynthia is of course quite a resourceful girl, so she makes quite a few escape attempts, while Richard just bungles about until he hooks up with a cannibalistic gang of freedom fighters, who somehow have also teamed up with the real Raine Brown, and who can keep the "invisible army" off his back to face Zeefros for a finale ... but ultimately, nothing is what it seems ...


Now let's be honest, if you pop a DVD called Kung Fu and Titties into your player, you don't expect to learn much about, oh, I don't know, the philosophy behind Eastern martial arts, but all the more lowbrow action silliness sprinkled with naked female mammaries - which is a blend also known among cineasts as "party movie" ... and you know what, if you can accept to watch exactly that (and if you can't based on the title Kung Fu and Titties, you're probably a moron), then this film delivers, and you WILL be entertained, simply because the film, silly as it might be, has quite a few original ideas invested into it, isn't half as moronic as it sounds to be, and the cast is very decent, also and especially when it comes to the comedy aspects of the story. And yeah, the girls are all very hot, too!

Great fun, really!!! But might best be consumed with some beer in hand all the same ;)


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




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A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
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directed by
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written by
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out now on DVD