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Kung Fu and Titties
USA 2013
produced by Robert A. Chapnick, John Archer Lundgren (executive), E. Joseph McConnell (executive), Shane McConnell (executive) for KFT the Movie, Nums Films
directed by Joseph McConnell
starring Raine Brown, Sean Molnar, Mike Marino, Seregon O'Dassey, John Archer Lundgren, Alisa Lova,l Evelyn Vinyl, Jeannette Trexler, Michael Emery, Stanislav Shkilnyi, Tony Vo, Leah Bay, Lori Cecilia (= Lori Ann Kim), Sophia Disgrace, Bronson Pinchot, Shawn C. Phillips
written by Joseph McConnell, Rob Cottignies, Melissa Libutti, music by Dave Allen, Melissa Bartley, Nathan Cervino, Leech Ernowetz
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Richard Titties (Sean Molnar) is a pretty talent-free Mixed Martial
Arts fighter who counts it as a success when he's knocked out during a
fight. Then though his girlfriend Cynthia (Seregon O'Dassey) is kidnapped
by a villain named Zeefros (John Archer Lundgren), who mistakenly mistakes
her for Richard's sister, B-movie star Raine Brown (Raine Brown - duh!)
and who wants to marry her. Zeefros also lives on some sort of parallel
world, and when Richard follows him there, he learns that he is the
"chosen one" of that realm ... but unfortunately, the only man
to help him in the other world is a man in a gorilla suit (Mike Marino),
who's of course also a real prick. Cynthia is of course quite a
resourceful girl, so she makes quite a few escape attempts, while Richard
just bungles about until he hooks up with a cannibalistic gang of freedom
fighters, who somehow have also teamed up with the real Raine Brown, and
who can keep the "invisible army" off his back to face Zeefros
for a finale ... but ultimately, nothing is what it seems ... Now
let's be honest, if you pop a DVD called Kung Fu and Titties into
your player, you don't expect to learn much about, oh, I don't know, the
philosophy behind Eastern martial arts, but all the more lowbrow action
silliness sprinkled with naked female mammaries - which is a blend also
known among cineasts as "party movie" ... and you know what, if
you can accept to watch exactly that (and if you can't based on the title Kung
Fu and Titties, you're probably a moron), then this film delivers, and
you WILL be entertained, simply because the film, silly as it might be,
has quite a few original ideas invested into it, isn't half as moronic as
it sounds to be, and the cast is very decent, also and especially when it
comes to the comedy aspects of the story. And yeah, the girls are all very
hot, too! Great fun, really!!! But might best be consumed with some beer
in hand all the same ;)
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