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Lumberjack: The Son Says Hello

USA 2023
produced by
Random Ass Films
directed by Samuel Carl Cohen
starring Kris Salvi, Marie Kottenstette, Marc Powers, Dustin Teuber, Bob Tourangeau, Nika Shakhmuradova
written by Samuel Carl Cohen

featurette

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Mal's (Kris Salvi) is a cold blooded assassin - not so much because he's a bad person, he's just good at his job ... and then he meets lovely Mary (Marie Kottenstette) and the two fall in love almost instantly. And it's not long before he gets her pregnant, and once she has the baby she pretty much forces him to quit his job and become a mailman ...

Detective Ford (Marc Powers) is the cop on Mal's trail, but ever since the "suicide" of this 18 months of son he's not the same anymore, so much so that he shows suicidal tendencies himself - and would have probably gone through with it if it wasn't for his partner (Dustin Teuber). Things get so bad that his wife, above-mentioned Mary, runs away to hook up with Mal in the first place ...

Eventually, Mal, as a mailman, delivers a parcel containing a gun to Detective Ford - and that encounter triggers something in both men ...

 

Ok, the ending of this is dark, maybe a bit too dark for a general audience, and while the mid-credits scene puts a fun punchline on it, it doesn't completely neutralize the impact. But that said, that's also completely besides the point as the film is never asking to be taken seriously, it's basically just a very tongue-in-cheek of standard cop movie and thriller mainstays driven by (intentionally) very clichéed dialogue, hammed up by a cast clearly in on the joke, and if you're even vaguely aware of the genre, you'll quite probably be unable not to laugh at or with the movie, it's just that on point in both writing and delivery, making this just under forty minutes really well spent!

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
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Tales to Chill
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Tales to Chill
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
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Tales to Chill
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the new anthology by
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