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Main Street Meats

USA 2017
produced by
Georgia Lyon, Jeff Lyon
directed by Jeff Lyon
starring Morgan Boland, Kenny Fayas, Steve Golla, Stacey Weber, Don Markus, Grayson Hunter Goss, Ashlee Summer, Miguel Graber, Catherine Wilcox Nash, Linda Cieslik, Gary Albano, Bon Débarras, Susan Bibby, Errol McLendon, Andy Osborne, Charles Ramsey, Andy Schatner, Mike Pusateri, Christopher Elst, Jeanne Leep, Marcee Doherty-Elst, John Waelti, Ellen Atterbury, Ben Philippi, Addison Monroe, Mandy Daniella, Megan Orion, Ariel Feather, Arthur Noble II, Leah Stargardter, Erika Koivunen, Glenn Prescott, Chloe Spencer, Joan Boudro, Rex Steven Sikes, Dianne Bischoff, Ruthy Boehm, Reed Meschetske, Stephanie Weiber, Tim Schmitt, Kathy Lyons, Jeanie Holtzman, Greg Johnson (voice), Rick Stemm (voice), Herschell Gordon Lewis (voice)
written by Jeff Lyon, songs by The Blowtorches, Red Beard and the Pirates, The Kollection, Devil to Drag, The Groop, The Gore Gore Girls

review by
Mike Haberfelner

On her way to Las Vegas, Cherry's (Morgan Boland) car breaks down in a town in the middle of nowhere, USA, where there isn't even a hotel - but since Cherry has to stay somewhere until the car's fixed again, she accepts Floyd's (Steve Golla) offer to stay in the flat above his meat shop, and as payment she's to help out a bit. You see, Floyd's shop has been going downhill ever since mama (Catherine Wilcox Nash) died, and his siblings, psychotic Sis (Stacey Weber) and slow-brained Neddy (Don Markus) aren't really that much help. It sounds like a good enouch offer, also since Floyd seems a decent enough guy, doesn't come on to her - and after all, what's Cherry to do in a small town like this anyways, she might as well work to earn her keep rather than spend money on her room.

Then though, unbeknowest to Cherry, Neddy kills a customer (Susan Bibby), and in order to keep themselves from being discovered, the siblings mix the customer's flesh in with the other meat - and it becomes a hit. So before long, Floyd sends Neddy off to do some more killing for constant meat supply, and the shop becomes the talk of town, so much so that the meat-crazy mayor (Charles Ramsey) makes Floyd the main supplier of the annual meat festival. That said, all the killings of course can't remain hidden forever ...

 

Now ok, Main Street Meats doesn't tell the most original of stories, and not in the most original of ways - but it's really good at what it does, creating a retro drive-in feeling without banking on the nostalgia factor too heavily, giving the whole thing a Herschell Gordon Lewis vibe (even if it's not nearly as explicit as Lewis' most outrageous films) and having it all carried by a light-footed directorial effort and a fine ensemble cast, with Morgan Boland deserving special mention as she really makes the most out of probably the least colourful character in the movie!

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD