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Someone is killing rich people around town, and Sheriff Marga (Michelle
Bauer) - whose uniform seems to consist of nothing more than a cowboy hat,
boots, a g-string and a leather jacket she leaves pen most of the time to
show everyone whe wears nothing underneath - wants to find out who, so she
questions Mari-Cookie (Lina Romay), who acts way too perfect as the
innocent and utterly dull housewife to not have an evil second life, but
Marga can't get a word out of her. Of course though, Marga is absolutely
right, Mari-Cookie has an alter ego, punk performance artist Tarantula,
who has made it her habit to lure rich patrons of her shows (which include
striptease and on-stage sex) to her home where she keeps them prisoners in
her spider web.
Marga gets a lead on Tarantula from Queen Vicious (Analía Ivars), whom
she questions during one of her sex shows ("Moan once for yes and
twice for no !" - Moan - "Someone is kidnapping rich people, is
it you ?" - Moan, moan - "Are you sure ?") and teams up
with Leona Tarantino (Mavi Tienda) to catch Tarantula red-handed, and
Leona chooses young Amy (Amber Newman) as her bait for Tarantula, who's in
turn the daughter of Marga's uptight friend Terry (Linnea Quigley) and the
mistress of Mari-Cookie's uptight husband Martin (Robert King).
Eventually, Marga, Terry, Leona and Martin all arrive at Tarantula's
place where she is busy having sex with Amy (with whom she also had sex in
her stageshow), but instead of putting an end to her evil shenanigans, the
women now all turn on Martin, make him Tarantula's prisoner as well, and
decide to all become Tarantula's accomplices, with Sheriff Marga seeing to
it that the law stays off their trail.
No doubt about it, Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula is what
you would call a bad movie: The plot is as feeble as it is stupid,
most of the scenes come up with at times outrageous excuses to show naked
female flesh, most of the actresses (with the notable exception of young
Amber Newman) look way past their prime, and in the nude even more so, and
the special effects are terribly unconvincing.
And for exactly those reasons, Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula
is nothing short of GREAT. Because you know, the film isn't meant
to be taken seriously, it is a comedy, a parody of bad movie clichés
(many of which Jess Franco himself has applied in his earlier films).
Plus, it is so silly (and intentionally so) you have got to love it. Take
Michelle Bauer's sheriff-outfit for example ! Take the stupid dialogue !
Take the nonsense storyline ! And by God, take the many excuses Jess
Franco comes up with to show his actresses naked !!! It's just so over the
top and crazy it's ... oh, i don't know, it's simply wow ! And then
there's of course Amber newman who has never looked hotter than in her
three Jess Franco films (even if Franco himself was not too fond of her),
and a really great score, blending easy listening, jazzy tunes and
contemporary electronica into a fascinating whole.
Recommended - if only to those still childish enough to understand this
(intentionally) stupid film.
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