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Phenomena
Creepers

Italy 1985
produced by
Dario Argento for Dacfilm
directed by Dario Argento
starring Jennifer Connelly, Daria Nicolodi, Donald Pleasence, Dalila di Lazzaro, Patrick Bauchau, Federica Mastroianni, Mario Donatone, Fausta Avelli, Marta Biuiso, Fiore Argento, Sophie Bourchier, Paolo Gropper, Ninke Hielkema, Tanga (the chimp), Mitzy Orsini, Fiorenza Tessari, Geraldine Thomas, Francescha Ottaviani, Michele Soavi, Franco Trevisi
written by Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini, special effects by Sergio Stivaletti, special optical effects by Luigi Cozzi, assistant director: Michele Soavi, music by Goblin, Bill Wyman & Terry Taylor, Iron Maiden, Motörhead, Andy Sex Gang, Simon Boswell, Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Pignatelli

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly), the neglected kid of a movieactor father, is shipped to one boarding school after the other for her education, & this time it's ... the Richard Wagner institute in Switzerland. But right from the beginning she has problems to fit in: on one hand she has the tendency to sleepwalk, on the other she can telepathically communicate with insects & eventually control them, which gives her a rather witchlike quality - all qualities to make her the perfect outsider. But what's even worse, there's a killer on the loose on the school's grounds, & he soon thinks she has seen him (her?) killing a girl ...

'Jennifer's only friend at school is her roommate, Sophie (Federica Mastroianni), but of course, she fallsprey to the killer before long. & when the headmistress (Dalila Di Lazzaro) soon thereafter wants Jennifer committed to a mental asylum, she runs away, to her only other friend in Switzerland, entomologist doc Mac Gregor (Donald Pleasence), who soon comes up with the brilliantly stupid idea that they have to find the killer, & with the even more stupid idea that they can do it by using Jennifer's telepathic link to insects & a Sarcophagus fly, a fly that only lives from human remains & can smell them for miles ... & wouldn't you know it, it almost works ...

But while jennifer & Sarcophagus are out corpsehunting, the killer has found out McGegor & brutally steps him, before the eyes of his beloved chimpanzee, Inga ...

Learning that McGregor is dead, Jennifer calls her father's agent Shapiro (Mario Donatone) to get her away, but instead of just sending her the money for an airplane ticket he asks Miss Brucker (Daria Nicolodi), one of the school's teachers, to give her a room for the night in her private home & fetch her the next morning herself.

What Shapiro doesn't know though is that Miss Bruckner has a deformed, derangecd son which she conceived when being raped in a sanitorium 15 years ago, & little sonny does like to murder around ab bit & keep bodyparts as memorabilia ... & mum Bruckner does everything to keep her son from being found out, even if that means chaining up a policeman (Patrick Bauchau) in her cellar or throwing Jennifer intop a pit flooded with bodyparts & maggots.

Somehow Jennifer gets away though, & learns Miss Bruckner's son is no saint either, & eventually the 2 have to fight it out in a lake covered with burning oil. Only a timely intervention of her friends, the insects, can decide the fight in jennifer's favour.

& when she gets out of the water, her friend Shapiro is already waiting for her ... only to be decapitated by Miss Bruckner, hwo hasn't in the least been calmed by the cdemise of her son (& can you blame her). But when she wants to kill Jennifer too, she is stabbed down by wandering vengeful chimp Inga ...

 


Flix.com

This time around, diretor Dario Argento applied some fairytale motives to his tried & true giallo formula, & created some cheesy images to go with it. So it comes as little surprise that this is one of his least liked films, by fans & critics alike.

But is it a bad film ? By no means, beneath its rather silly story (& are not most giallos a bit silly) the film features some strong images, great atmospheric shots (sometimes reminiscent of Argento's earlier somewhat similar themed Suspiria), gore effects at precisely the right moments, a wonderfully unhealthy fascination with ugly insects, & a very young Jennifer Connelly in an unusually strong leading performance.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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