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Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge
Pirates: Stagnetti's Revenge

USA 2008
produced by
Joone, Samantha Lewis for Digital Playground
directed by Joone
starring Jesse Jane, Evan Stone, Belladonna, Sasha Grey, Katsumi, Tommy Gunn, Shay Jordan, Steven St. Croix, Stoya, Gabriella Fox, Shyla Stylez, Shauna Lenne, Riley Steele, Brea Lynn, Abbey Brooks, Veronica Rayne, Jenna Haze, Brianna Love, Rhylee Richards, Ben English, Marco Banderas, Charles Dera, Manuel Ferrara, James Deen, Mick Blue, Frank Bukkwyd, Nhan, Jules Van Damme, Anton Michael, Bradley Laise, David Aaron Clark, Jamie Dawson, Mercy Baron, Noel Olken, Scotty Servis, Zaaf B., Galen T.Canis, Gary James, George Robertson, Johnny Sinatra
story by Joone, screenplay by Max Massimo, music by John Argosino, Christopher Hart, visual effects by Digital Playground FX

Pirates

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Captain Reynolds (Evan Stone) and his second in command Jules (Jesse Jane) want to reach a full pardon for their friend, former pirate Serena (see the first Pirates for details), but the gouvernor of Jamaica (Ben English) is only prepared to promise that if they capture or kill pirate queen Xifeng (Katsumi), who's terrorizing the Seven Seas. A tall order, considering Reynolds' ship is still in need of repairs, but they accept it anyways, and soon, Reynolds and Jules set off to pirate island on charter on another ship ... and once there, everything goes wrong: Jules manages to track down Xifeng but is hypnotized into doing her bidding and become her willing slave, while Reynolds is captured by Xifeng's men and thrown into a pit to be devoured by a giant monster. Thank God then that Olivia (Belladonna), Serena's sister, has been following Reynolds and Jules on Maria's (Sasha Grey) ship and manages to kill the monster just in time before Reynolds is devoured.

Maria's ship soon picks up the trail of Xifeng's ship, in order to not only bring her down but also save Jules, but it might already be too late because Xifeng has since resurrected Reynolds' arch enemy Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn) from the dead, and he has brought with him an all-powerful sceptre that he uses to raise an army of skeletons and a sea serpent against Reynolds, Olivia, Maria and her crew ...

In a subplot, Reynolds' gunner Wu's (Nhan) sister (Shay Jordan) has fallen in love with none other than Marco (Steven St.Croix), Jules' psychotic ex, and after they had sex, Wu wants to force him to marry her ... and somehow that leads to Marco's ship trailing Maria's ship, and they arrive just in time to shoot dead the sea serpent about to devour Reynolds and company.

Now, Reynolds and Olivia take the battle to Xifeng's and Stagnetti's ship, and while Olivia is quick to free Jules and kill Xifeng, she and Jules are soon knocked out by a falling post, and it's up to Reynolds to fight and kill Stagnetti - without anyone watching, to his dismay.

Everything ends happily, though ...

 

After the success of the first Pirates, a very well-written, well-done and pretty funny plot-based porn movie, a sequel was pretty much inevitable, a sequel that boasted a much higher budget, more special effect, more porn talent, bigger names, ... - in other words, a sequel that promised an all-around improvement over Pirates (which didn't require much improvement in the first place).

The question is though: Is Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge the better film?

And the answer is no.

Now don't get me wrong, Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge is an entertaining piece of porn, it is well-made, the money does show, is well written and at least at times it still manages to be pretty funny ... but it quite simply lacks the freshness of the first part. Instead, the viewer can't help but get a certain "been there, done that"-feeling. Also, the central character, Captain Reynolds, is not quite as well-developed as in the original anymore, basically because he has turned from a manic-depressive naive greenhorn into a pirate hunter during part one, and now there is too little room for him to further evolve. And it even seems Evan Stone is bringing less enthusiasm to the role this time around than he previously did (though he still is pretty funny).

About more porn talent and bigger names: It's of course very refreshing to see less women with breast jobs running around the 18th century, so that's a good thing, and most of them give at least adequate performances ... but on the other hand, I was quite surprised how disappointing crossover-superstar Sasha Grey was in this film, acting-wise, given the fact that she gave such a great performance in Girlfriend Experience the very same year ...

All that said though, taken by its own merits, Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge is still a pretty entertaining plot-driven porn flick, it's just not the achievement that the first Pirates was by a longshot.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
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to the weirdly romantic,
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screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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