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Queen Crab

USA 2015
produced by
Mark Polonia, Brett Piper for Polonia Brothers
directed by Brett Piper
starring Michelle Simone Miller, Kathryn Metz, Rich Lounello, Ken Van Sant, A.J. DeLucia, Steve Diasparra, Danielle Donahue, Yolie Canales, Mark Polonia, Stacy Allen, Liberty Asbury
written by Brett Piper, music by Jon Greathouse, special effects by Brett Piper

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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As a kid, Melissa (Liberty Asbury) found a crab who became her best friend, and she fed it with fruit her mad scientist dad (Mark Polonia) had treated with a growth serum in his lab - but the lab blew up eventually, and dad with it ...

Now, Melissa (played as an adult by Michelle Simone Miller) defends the land her parents have left her - which also includes a pond - with guns against any kind of intruder, especially a slightly not so smart deputy (Rich Lounello). And she has good reason for it, since the pond on her land is the home of her best friend PeeWee, who just happens to be a giant crab. Of course, nobody but Melissa knows about PeeWee - but of late, PeeWee has gotten out of her hiding in Melissa's pond and killed some lifestock ... and that's not too surprising, as PeeWee's presently laying some eggs, which results in a few quite hungry and quite dangerous (not so) little crabs who attack people for food, while people kill them for sport. Eventually, the humans, led by the local sheriff (Kevin Van Sant) find out about PeeWee and arrive in tanks and ultimately fighter jets to kill the crab - which would break Melissa's heart, but she has got a biologist (A.J. DeLucia) and her best friend, a B movie heroine (Kathryn Metz) on her side to save her giant crustacean friend. But will this be enough?

 

Whoever likes 1950s drive-in giant monster movies will probably love Queen Crab, as it's basically a loving hommage to these movies of old - but an hommage that doesn't boast with how clever it is or be in-your-face self-ironic, but one that celebrates what was good about these movies of old: Their slightly simplistic storylines that don't necessarily let realism stand in the way of a good plot, their emphasis on spectacle, and their supreme escapist qualities - and that's not to say Queen Crab isn't tongue-in-cheek and self-aware, as it is both, and it's by no means just a dumbed down piece of nostalgia, but great present day entertainment that is just reminiscent of these movies of old - also thanks to the wonderful practical effects used!

In all, a piece of genre entertainment perfectly made to just lean back and enjoy!

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!