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Robinson und seine wilden Sklavinnen

Robinson and his Tempestuous Slaves
Trois Filles Nues dans l'Îsle de Robinson / The Sexy Darlings / L'Isola dei Placeri Proibiti

West Germany/France 1972
produced by
Karl Heinz Mannchen for Telecine, Comptoir Francais du Film
directed by Jess Franco (as Frank Hollmann)
starring Yehuda Barkan, Andrea Rau, Anne Libert, Ingeborg Steinbach, Herbert Weissbach, Linda Hastreiter, Paul Muller, Max Nosseck, Howard Vernon, Ruth Gassmann, Irene D'Astrea, Fernando Bilbao, Karl Heinz Mannchen, Gustavo Re, Vicente Roca, Jess Franco
screenplay by Art Bernd, dialogue by Reinhold Brandes, music by Daniel J. White

Robinson Crusoe

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Robinson (Yehuda Barkan), a lowly drugstore clerk and wannabe chemist, dreams about living on a dessert island - with a bunch of naked girls - but is stuck with a wife and mother-in-law who know nothing but nagging. Then he meets the woman of his dreams (literally), Linda (Andrea Rau), a porn actress whom he helps out of a jam, and as a thank you, she promises to follow him to his island.

Once on the island, Robinson makes the acquaintance of two very horny girls, Samantha (Anne Libert) and Pepa (Ingeborg Steinbach), and since they tend to have sex with him whenever possible and run around in the almost-nude the rest of the time, Linda is quickly forgotten. Eventually though, Linda does show up, which doesn't sit too well with the other girls, especially because he does prefer Linda to the other two.

On top, the three women soon enough tire Robinson.

Real problems arise though when Robinson and his girls are captured by natives, and the girls try to talk themselves out of the situation by trying to convince the natives that he's Robinson is the son of the gods - upon which the natives force him to perform surgery on their chieftain (Howard Vernon [!]), just to prove he really is the gods' offspring. Against all odds, he succeeds, too.

Then Robinson's wife and mother-in-law show up with a businessman (Paul Muller) in tow who want to get him back to civilisation and get rich from a sleeping gas he has developed. Robinson has them made captive by the native tribe and wants to leave them to their fate - when his three girlfriends bug him to save wife, mom-in-law and businessman. Now Robinson finds himself forced to defeat the strongest man of the native tribe, which he only succeeds in thanks to his pet monkey.

After this, Robinson is allowed to live on his island with his three girls, his wife and his mom-in-law - who gets it on with the chieftain - happily ever after ...

 

Director Jess Franco has made movies of an incredibly varying quality, but it's fair to say that some are masterpieces - this one however is not, quite the contrary. In essence, this film is your typical German sex comedy thatis embarrassingly childish in humour and unfunny as can be, carried by actors who are mostly out of their depth. To Jess Franco's defense: He didn't have any chance against the overwhelmingly bad material to begin with, there was just no way to turn this into a good movie - and that's exactly what this film is, a trainwreck with hardly any redeeming quality (at least Howard Vernon as both chieftain and [in another sequence] porn actor is pretty funny).

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
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special appearances by
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directed by
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written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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