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Die Sex-Abenteuer der Drei Musketiere

The Sex Adventures of the Three Musketeers

West Germany 1971
produced by
Erwin C. Dietrich for Avco
directed by Erwin C. Dietrich (as Michael Thomas)
starring Peter Graf, Ingrid Steeger, Nadia Pilar, Li Huber, Rico Petr, Alfed Codona, Loni Grunwald, Yvonne Sollin, Raphael Britten, Achim Hammer, Jürg Coray, Thomas Larisch
written by Erwin C. Dietrich (as Manfred Gregor), based on characters created by Alexandre Dumas père, music by Walter Baumgartner, Peter Hedrich, cinematography by Peter Baumgartner, Andreas Demmer

Three Musketeers

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD !

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Young D'Artagnan (Peter Graf) has just been made a man by a gypsy woman (Li Huber), and now he already has two lovers, a blonde (Ingrid Steeger) for the day out in the fields and a dark haired one for the night in bed.Eventually, his father opposes to his shagging around too much and sends young D'Artagnan off to Paris to become a Musketeer ...

On his way to Paris, D'Artagnan meets the legendary Three Musketeers (Achim Hammer, Jürg Coray, Thomas Larisch), but they are nothing more than a trio of drunkards and womanizers who roam the countryside to find someone to fuck, and they in one scene don't even shy away from killing the Count de Voyeur (Alfred Codona), just to have him out of the way to shag his beautiful wife.

Eventually, D'Artagnan becomes a Musketeer, which is when he crosses paths with the Countess de Voyeur, who invites him to her home and her bed ... and soon enough has locked him in to be her sex slave. It takes quite some time before D'Artagnan manages to escape the Countess' clutches ... and when hiding out in a stable during his escape, he bumps into the gypsy who took his virginity again and realizes that woman might be his destiny ...

 

A very stupid sexploitation pic, obviously made on the cheap (to a  point where, in several scenes, the Musketeers who are supposed to ride horses can be clearly seen sitting on their saddles with no horses underneath) and based on an extremely feeble script that doesn't have much use for Alexandre Dumas' original story, instead is nothing more than a succession of sex scenes in period costume.

All that said, Die Sex-Abenteuer der Drei Musketiere is quite naturally a bad film ... but if you are into stupid early 1970's erotica, you might just as well enjoy this little movie ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD