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Troll 2

Italy 1990
produced by
David Hills (= Joe D'Amato = Aristide Massaccesi), Brenda Norris for Filmirage
directed by Claudio Fragasso (as Drake Floyd)
starring Michael Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo Prey, Connie McFarland (= Connie Young), Robert Ormsby, Deborah Reed, Jason Wright, Darren Ewing, Jason Steadman, David McConnell, Gary Carlson, Mike Hamill, Don Packard, Christina Reynolds, Glenn Gerner, Michele Abrams, Lance C.Williams, Elli Case, Gavin Reed, Melissa Bridge
written by Claudio Fragasso (as Drake Floyd), Rossella Drudi, music by Carlo Maria Cordio, costumes by Laura Gemser

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Even though gramps (Robert Ormsby) has died half a year ago, he still appears to little Josh (Michael Stephenson) to read him stories about goblins who want to turn humans into plants and eat them. Josh's parents (George Hardy, Margo Prey) think this is because he just hasn't learned how to properly deal with grandpa's death, so they decide to take him and his sister Holly (Connie McFarland) on a trip to the country where they plan to spend a month in a farmhouse to live like farmers. Problem is, the farmhouse is in the middle of goblin country, and all the locals are goblins in disguise - but how is Josh explain that to his family?

Hollly's boyfriend Elliott (Jason Wright) has followed her to the country in a camping van with three of his firends (Darren Ewing, Jason Steadman, David McConnell), and without Elliott even noticing, his three friends fall prey to the goblins.

It takes Josh's family forever to realize in what danger they are, and when they do, it's almost too late, their house is surrounded by goblins - but Josh has since teamed up with gramps, and they have found the house of the leader of the goblins (Deborah Reed) and her almighty Stonehenge stone - and in the end, the goblins are defeated by Josh eating a double-decker baloney sandwich - no, really!

 

By trash afficionados, Troll 2 is frequently labelled as the worst film ever, but I refuse to fully agree: Sure, this film's story is silly as hell, the actors are as wooden as their dialogue is ridiculous, and the goblin masks and special effects are less than special - but quite frankly, there are worse (and in their unintentional way funnier) films out there. Which of course doesn't really make Troll 2 a good film, it's just a cheap and cheesy attempt to cash in on the quite remarkable low budget sensation Troll (with which it does share at least a few basic themes), but without nearly the same level of imagination. And so, we get a weirdly misguided fantasy/horror blend that seems to lose its direction several times in the course of the proceedings and that lacks the budget to bring its story to life. But that the film is full of unintentional humour makes it fun at least ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD