Tromeo and Juliet
Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman, James Gunn (executive) for Troma
directed by Lloyd Kaufman
starring Jane Jensen, Will Keenan, Valentine Miele, Maximillian Shaun (as William Beckwith), Steve Gibbons, Sean Gunn, Debbie Rochon, Stephen Blackehart, Flip Brown, Earl McKoy, Gene Terinoni, Wendy Adams, Tamara Craig Thomas, Antonia Lurie, Jacqueline Tavarez, Steve Loniewski, John Fiske, Garon Peterson, Tiffany Shepis, Joe Fleishaker, Peter James Kelsch, Manon Kelley, Joseph Anthony, Caroline Smith, Steve Roberts, Liz Ip, James Gunn, Kathleen Warner, Brian Stefanovic, Marko Stefanovic, Lloyd Kaufman, Craig Adams, Charis Michelsen, Merle Allin, Neil Ruddy, Lauren Danielle Gold, Karl Unger jr, Ralph Villela, Lisbeth Kaufman, Charlotte Kaufman, Evan Roberts, Giovanni Giaconi, Brian McCarey, David Bertolino, Brian Fox
screenplay by Jason Green, James Gunn, Lloyd Kaufman, based on the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, music by Willie Wisely, special effects by Louie Zakarian
Romeo and Juliet
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Decdades ago, Cappy Capulet (Maximillian Shaun) and Monty Que (Earl
McKoy) have set up a porn production company, but then Cappy managed to
somehow trick Que out of his shares in the business, and now their two
families are bitter enemies.
Juliet Capulet (Jane Jensen) is being
forced by her father Cappy to marry London Arbuckle (Steve Gibbons), who's
big in the meat business, even though she hates his guts and is a
vegetarian. Then at a party, she meets Tromeo (Will Keenan), son of Monty,
and without knowing who the respective other is, the two kids fall in love
- and they remain in love once they find out, primarily because Tromeo has
never cared much about the family feud, and Juliet just wants to break
free from her family, especially her abusive father and her disgusting
husband-to-be. Of course, their romance only fuels the feud, but that
doesn't affect them in the least, on the contrary, they secretly marry
just to make it impossible for Arbuckle to marry her.
Then though, daddy
Cappy gets his hands on Juliet again, and he literally tortures her into
submission, so much so that she agrees to do his bidding and eat
meat ... but she, Tromeo and their only friend, a pedophilic priest (Flip
Brown) make up a plan - a plan that involves turning Juliet into a monster
on the day of her wedding.
With the wedding only minutes away, Arbuckle
gets to face his monster bride - and in shock he throws himself out of the
next window to his death. Enter daddy, who is shocked that her monster
daughter has destroyed his chance to become part of the meat business, and
he violently starts beating her up - which is when Tromeo arrives, and he
helps Juliet kill Cappy in the most violent of ways.
yet. With Cappy gone, Tromeo and Juliet learn that they are actually
brother and sister, something that has long been kept a two-family secret
- but now they know they figure they have already gone too far to turn
back now ... and a few years later are blessed with a bunch of deformed
Later indie horror icon Debbie Rochon plays Juliet's cook and
part-time lesbian lover, Lemmy of Motörhead fame does the narration.
you would expect from Lloyd Kaufman and Troma,
he treats Shakespeare's play only with minimal respect, moving it from
sunny Verona to the seedy underbelly of NYC, the world of punks,
drunkards, porn producers and general lowlives, equips the whole thing
with enough gross-out humour to last a lifetime, and adds a twist happy
ending to the proceedings. Yet in my opinion, to state Shakespeare would
rotate in his grave because of this bastardization would be an
exaggeration, because in essence, Shakespeare had a sense of humour and
would probably have preferred Tromeo and Juliet to Baz Luhrman's
rather forced forced gangster adaptation Romeo + Juliet, also from
In all, Tromeo and Juliet is far from a perfect movie, its humour
is rather moronic, its special effects are crude, and its direction is
very basic and functional - but there is something very honest about this
film in a low budget movie way: Basically, it's completely unpretentious,
it doesn't take itself or the play it's based on too seriously, always
goes for the cheap joke or the gore scene should need arise, doesn't give
a ratfart about political correctness, throws in a few naked tits to keep
the (mostly male) audiences happy, and it moves the story along at a swift
enough pace to keep everybody entertained.
Now all of this doesn't
exaclty make a great film - but an entertaining one at least.