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Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires
Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires: The Curse of Ed Wood
USA 2003
produced by Timothy Green Beckley (executive)
directed by Tim Swartz
starring Lolita Langsuir, Stephanie Bloode, Theda Baire, Circe, Daywalker, Di Di Delicious, Tim Swartz, Zane Ka, A. Crowley, Rubberman, Dark Angel, Diva Dnine, Dawn South, Gene Pasadena, Lady Dragon, Sin, Lily Vaine, Tess Shyness, Malinda Myers, Jerome P. Wigg, T-Bone, Mr Creepo, Lorelei Mahoney
written by Tim Swartz, special effects by Jason Lee
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Available on DVD! To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned) |
Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!
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Lilith (Stephanie Bloode) has just been ditched by her lover (Theda
Baire) and is now easy prey for Carmilla (Lolita Langsuir), who takes her
lover's stead - thing is of course, Carmilla is also a vampire and wants
to suck Lilith dry at her next big party. Thank god for Muffy, vampire
slayer (Circe), who soon enough hooks up with Lilith's lover, and the two
enter the party uninvited to kick some serious vampire butt ... but the
vampires vastly outnumber the two, and Muffy is soon overpowered by them
while Lilith's lover makes it out barely alive ... but soon, she meets
Muffy and Carmilla again ... If you, by reading the title,
expected lesbian porn featuring young goths, you'll be vastly disappointed
- thing is, if you didn't expect that, you'll still be vastly
disappointed, becasue Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires is one boring
piece of film, a by-the-numbers vampire story spiced up with some tame
lesbian sex and a few harmless S/M scenes that makes so little sense that
the film's on-screen narrator Mr Creepo actually prays to the spirit of Ed
Wood to sort it out - not figuratively speaking, he really does. Waste
of time.
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review © by Mike Haberfelner
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Feeling lucky? Want to search any of my partnershops yourself for more, better results? (commissions earned) |
The links below will take you just there!!!
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Thanks for watching !!!
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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes, cuddly toys and shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill Your Bones to is all of that.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle,
all thought up by the twisted mind of screenwriter and film reviewer Michael Haberfelner.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to
the new anthology by Michael Haberfelner
Out now from Amazon!!! |
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