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An Interview with Audrey Noone, Director of The Penis

by Mike Haberfelner

June 2016

Films directed by Audrey Noone on (re)Search my Trash


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Your new movie The Penis - in a few words, what is it about?


It is a comic look at the issues that those excluded from the boy's club at work face.


Some people might find the title of your movie provocative - so what was the thought behind calling The Penis just "The Penis"?


Well, it is a mock commercial for a product called "The Penis", so it was hard to get around calling it anything but that. So to speak ;)


I don't think I'm leaning out too far when saying The Penis is a (satirical) commentary about gender equality (or lack thereof) - your personal thoughts on the subject?


I didn't set out to make a statement about women's rights, I was more focused on entertaining. But, of course, the upshot is that there is a message underneath. The germ of the idea started years ago, when I was having a conversation with someone at work. He was telling me about an organization, and he said that the members had to have a number of civic accomplishments before joining. He didn't mention one of the most basic things about the club, which was that it was only for men. So he said "You have to have _____ and you have to have _____ and you have to have ______" and I finished his last sentence with "a penis." When I decided that I wanted to write this screenplay, I asked a question on Facebook about ways in which women are disadvantaged at work. I used some specifics from that conversation in some of the scenes.


(Other) sources of inspiration when writing The Penis - and how much of the film was actually based on a written script, how much improvised on set?


It was completely scripted and very tightly shot. I actually choreographed actors' movements. I knew I wanted it to be very pithy, like a commercial. Fortunately, my actors were great at taking direction.


Do talk about your directorial approach to your story at hand!


As I mentioned, I had it very specifically visualized and thought out. On the day, I asked for the input from my crew on specific camera angles and where the set ups should be in the rooms. But once we started shooting, I knew exactly what beats I wanted to hit.


What can you tell us about The Penis's cast, and why exactly these people?


Originally, I scripted it for the same woman to be in each scene. As I went along, I decided it would be more interesting with women from different backgrounds. And one of my friends, Jocelyn Padilla [Jocelyn Padilla interview - click here], came up with the idea of having one of the women be a man. A man who is also on the outskirts of the boy's club. A man who does not get invited to the golf course. So, once I knew what casting I needed, I reached out to specific people. One of the actresses I asked originally consented, then after reading the script declined. I guess the subject matter is too much for some people. Before people see the film, they probably think that it is a sexual film. In fact, when some people read the script (guys) they interpreted the penis coming out as a sexual thing. This is where my direction got the focus to be more on the penis as an equalizer, not as a sexual stimulator.


So, I went through a bunch of people before I ended up with the final cast, and I could not be happier with them. Each one brought something fantastic. On the day of the shoot, I was so cognitively occupied that I could not totally focus on the actors' performances. So when I viewed the footage after, I was completely elated to see the subtletly and emotion they brought to their characters, even though they were given 1 dimensional characters to play. They really showed me the power that a great actor can bring to elevate a project.


Honestly, how much fun was it to shoot The Penis, and what can you tell us about the on-set atmosphere?


It was a total blast!  It was shot in one long day. I was the caterer and the cat herder and the director and did some acting. Everyone on set was extremely helpful. I like to run a lean set, that is, only people on camera and a strong crew are there. And they all asked what they could do to help, from moving furniture to bringing the snacks from room to room, to clear the shooting area. That is, food was set up in one room, then we had to move it all so we could shoot in that space.


The $64-question of course, where can The Penis be seen?


Uncensored version:

Censored version:


Anything you can tell us about critical and audience reception of The Penis yet?


I posted it on my fan page, and within a day it had 15 shares! I don't think that any of my previous films have even been shared once!


Any future projects you'd like to share?


I don't have any of my own scripts in the queue for production at this moment. I've been asked to write and act in a web series called The World's Worst Director, and I've been asked to direct another writer's short script. I am currently sending The Penis and my previous film What the Doctor Ordered out to film festivals.


Feeling lucky ?
Want to
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results ?

The links below
will take you
just there!!!

Find Audrey Noone
at the amazons ...


Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)

Germany (East AND West)

Looking for imports ?
Find Audrey Noone here ...

Your shop for all things Thai

Something naughty ?
(Must be over 18 to go there !)

x-rated  find Audrey Noone at

Your/your movie's website, Facebook, whatever else?


Anything else you're dying to mention and I have merely forgotten to ask?


I was trying to get out of buying a dildo, cause I'm a no budget filmmaker. Someone told me I could borrow one, but they never came through. So, I finally broke down and bought one. My director of photography indicated that it would be good to have a dildo that could wobble/wiggle. I honestly didn't realize that they did that. I guess I figured they would be more immobile, like a vibrator. So, I went online and did some research. I needed to find one that had a suction cup bottom, so it would stand up on a table. It was quite a learning curve. And when the dildo arrived on my doorstep, I was kinda surprised that it was scented. Kinda perfumy. And, now that the film is complete, I don't know what to do with him. He's in my drawer. Ha ha!


Thanks for the interview!


Thanks so much for interviewing me, and for all that you do to support independent film, Michael!!!!!


© by Mike Haberfelner

Legal note: (re)Search my Trash cannot
and shall not be held responsible for
content of sites from a third party.

Thanks for watching !!!



Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD