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Ninja Terminator

Hong Kong 1985
produced by
Joseph Lai, Betty Chan for IFD Films & Arts
directed by Godfrey Ho
starring Richard Harrison, Jonathan Wattis, Maria Francesca, Jack Lam (stock footage), Hwang Jang Lee (stock footage), Chen Sing (stock footage), Phillip Ko (stock footage)
screenplay by Godfrey Ho, based on a story by AAV Creative Unit, story development by Warren See

Richard Harrison's Ninja movies

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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With the statue of the Golden Ninja Warrior, the Supreme Ninja wants to attain absolute power over the Ninja Empire and invulnerability ... but 3 of his followers, Harry (Richard Harrison), Ben (Jonathan Wattis) and Tomashi won't let that happen, because the Supreme Ninja is a megalomaniac maniac, which rather excludes him from ruling the Ninja Empire. So the three steal the statue and each takes one part with him. Tomashi is soon killed by the minions of the Supreme Ninja, and his part of the statue retrieved, however Ben and Harry are tougher cookies to crack ... but Ben proves to be a baddie as well, wanting the Golden Ninja Warrior to attain absolute power himself - and he thinks that Tomashi's part of the statue is with his sister Machiko. So he hires gangster Tiger (Hwang Jang Lee wearing a stupid Doris Day-like wig - don't ask) to retrieve the statue - while Harry hires Jaguar Wong (Jack Lam) to look after Machiko.

Of course, Jaguar's men stop at nothing to get the statue (the part of the statue that is) from Machiko - even if she doesn't have it. They even go so far as to kidnap her and brutally torture her. But Jaguar is no slouch either, using his martial arts skills to escape many tight spots Tiger's men have prepared especially for him and eventually even resorting to kidnapping Lili, the girlfriend of Victor, Tiger's right-hand man, just to press Machiko free. But ultimately, he has to fight his way through the ranks of Tiger's gang to free Machiko, arriving just in time to deactivate a timebomb she's tied to. And in a fight to the death on a beach Jaguar can finally show Tiger who's the best martial artist ...

Finally, the story culminates in a three-way Ninja battle Supreme Ninja versus Harry versus Ben ... and Harry the good guy of course wins ...

 

One of the (literally) dozens of Ninja-movies that Richard Harrison starred in for IFD Films & Arts, that consists of a newly shot Ninja story and large chunks from another movie (the whole story about Tiger, Jaguar and Machiko) that has nothing to do with Ninjas, but the dialogue was tampered with enough to make a bit of sense.  The finished product - despite some quite cool fightscenes in the old movie - is just as bad as it sounds, a very obvious and sloppily done attempt to quickly cash in on the then current Ninja craze at the expense of quality.

So yes, it's a bad film.

That however does not mean that the film is totally unenjoyable, in fact especially the new-shot footage is quite hilarious, with Richard Harrison looking tired enough to not even make an attempt at acting, either parading around in an ugly (from today's point of view) tracksuit or wearing his camouflage-Ninja outift (with his face firmly hidden so one can't tell he's doubled in the fight scenes. Of further interest is that he is having a telephone in the shape of the then immensely popular comicstrip-character Garfield ... now what better way to spell tough guy ? And then there are those cheap miniature toy robots the Supreme Ninja uses to deliver his messages - priceless. And of course the fact that the ninja swords can also be used as flamethrowers. And the Ninjas can bagically produce smokescreens out of thin air. And ... and much more to keep the fan of so-bad-they're-good movies entertained, in fact the film's a laug-riot, one just mustn't take it seriously.

In 1986, a sort-of-sequel to this film, Golden Ninja Warrior, was released. If anything, that one was even funnier.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD