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Schulmädchen Report 5. Teil: Was Eltern wirklich wissen sollten

Schoolgirl Report Part 5: What all Parents should Know

West Germany 1973
produced by
Wolf C.Hartwig for Rapid Film
directed by Ernst Hofbauer, Walter Boos
starring Ulrike Butz, Puppa Armbruster, Cleo Kretschmer, Günther Möhner, Elisabeth Welz, Günther Kieslich, Maria Raber, Ingrid Steeger, Frank Nossack, Rinaldo Talamonti, Rosl Mayr, Philippe Gasté, Peter Kranz, Sonja Jeannine, Erika Blumberger, Helmuth Brasch, Willy Harlander, Andrea L'Arronge, Manfred Spies, Ludwig Wühr, Ekkehardt Belle
screenplay by Günther Heller, music by Gert Wilden

Schulmädchen-Report/Schoolgirl Report

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Those German schoolgirls are at it once again ...

- On a fieldtrip, Petra (Ulrike Butz) seduces the assistant teacher (Gunther Möhner) in a barn. After a while, two of her friends (Puppa Armbruster, Cleo Kretschmer) join in on the fun. The whole thing becomes a scandal though, when the girls' class teacher (Elisabeth Welz) catches them while they are at it ...

- Gabi and Peter are in love and want to do it. But both of them are so terribly inexperienced, so their first attempt turns into a desaster ... so the both of them secretly take shagging lessons from experienced persons, Peter from his aunt Erika (Maria Raber) and Gabi from her parents' lodger (Günther Kieslich, the school psychologist from Schulmädchen Report 1). A week later, after both of them have made their experiences, their first time together is fantastic ...

- At first, Eva Steiner (Ingrid Steeger) just wants to tease her religion teacher, chaplain Steinmann (Frank Nossack), but the more he refuses her the more she is determined to get him into bed ... until she breaks into his appartment and awaits him in his bed, all naked. This is too much even for the priest to resist - but on the next day he's gone, he has himself transferred to another parrish actually. But Eva has really fallen in love with him, so she finally traces him down and wants him back. The priest refuses - until he finds out Eva is pregnant, that is ... then he decides to "rather be a good husband than a bad priest."

- Instead of being in class, Uschi and Inge decide to spend an hour with plumbers Luigi (Rinaldo Talamonti) and Franz, to you-know-what ... which leads to some mild slapstick when their short-sighted principal (Rosl Mayr) finds them but hasn't got the faintest idea what is going on.

- Steffi's first time was with an experienced man, Edgar (Philippe Gasté), but then he left her just like that because he was married with children. Now Steffi is shagging around, desperately looking for the fulfillment only Edgar could give her. Eventually though, a of her classmates learn that she is quite promiscuous, and gangrape her ...

- Ruth is the last virgin in her class, which is why she is constantly teased by her classmates ... until she lets herself be persuaded to be deflowered by Henry der Bumser (Henry the Fucker, played by Peter Kranz). But once Henry has her up in his room, he notices what a nice girl she is, and the two fall in love ...

 

The Schulmädchen Report-series was never quite as great as one wants to believe , seeing it in a nostalgic light, but with this movie, the series has considerably run out of steam even compared to the earlier movies: All of the stories are quite weak and the occasional humour is dreadful, and at least the last 2 episodes are virtual remakes of episodes in earlier films (the gangrape was also in Schulmädchen Report 4, Henry der Bumser was Der Feger von Bogenhausen in Schulmädchen Report 2). Still, if you like mindless early 1970's sexploitation, you might end up kind of liking this film against all better knowledge.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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