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The Love Merchant

USA 1966
produced by
General Studios
directed by Joe Sarno
starring Loraine Claire (= Patricia McNair), Judson Todd, Jim Chisholm (= Louis Waldon), George Wolfe, Joanna Mills, Patti Paget, Penni Peyton, Peggy Steffans (as Cleo Nova), Francine Ashley, Michael Alaimo (as Michael Lawrence), Annette Godette, Shep Wild, Steve Barton, Phil Mason, Carl Olsen, June Roberts (as Robin Marks)
written by Joe Sarno, music by Richard Cove

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Kendall Harvey III (Judson Todd) is filthy rich, and he's not afraid to spend his money (or part of it) to get women he fancies into his bed.

Click (Jim Chisholm) is a young man who knows any number of beautiful young women, so it's only natural to offer his services - for a price - to Kendall. Plus, Click has the hots for Kendall's private secretary, Polly (Patti Paget).

Bobbi (Joanna Mills) is an up-and-coming painter, but like all young painters, she's notoriously short on money, so when her friend Click hooks her up with Kendall, she - always having been promiscuous - gladly accepts.

Peggy (Loraine Claire), Bobbi's best friend, eventually catches the eye of Kendall, but she's a married woman - and nothing could make her cheat on her husband Roger (George Wolfe) ... nothing ?

Well, not entirely nothing: When her hubby at one point loses a big contract, virtually has to declare bancrupcy and starts drinking heavily, only Kendall can save him, and he agrees to do so ... for a price: Kendall arranges it for Roger to be out of town for 48 hours to sign a new contract, and wants to have Peggy for these 48 hours to you-know-what behind her hubby's back.

To her dismay, Peggy becomes part of Kendall's orgy-life, but she puts up with it for her husband's sake, but when he comes back, she is overcome by her bad conscience and confesses everything to him ... and he leaves her on the spot.

Click meanwhile tries to move in on Polly, but she not only resists his charms, she even defends herself with his (!) bikechain - which makes Click a tad suspicious, so he sends her a girl to see if ... and indeed, she turns out to be a closet lesbian.

Kendall meanwhile feels his party life becoming more and more empty, and he realizes the only woman he didn't feel lonely with was Peggy - so he invites her back, and since she has just been left by her hubby, she accepts, too, on the condition he will meet her without his private secretary and the whole crowd who always party and pick up girls with him. Kendall gladly agrees to it, but the same day, Click tries to get him into bed with Polly's lesbian lover, just out of revenge, and since Kendall never was one to miss an opportunity, he tries to squeeze in the girl just before the date with Peggy ... which of course ends in desaster when he gets caught both by Polly - whose heart gets broken by this - and Peggy - who suddenly realizes she just has to leave Kendall's world behind and try and reconcile with her husband.

 

One of Joe Sarno's earlier erotic films which might not feature as much nudity and sex as his films from the 1970's - but hey, it was 1966, so what do you want - but otherwise, Sarno's trademarks are all in place: a convoluted soap opera style plot ultimately revolving around nothing else but sex, a slick direction, careful camerawork not usually seen in this kind of film, and of course any number of scenes that require the actors to actually act (which they do with different levels of success) and not just to show their goods.

Not one of Sarno's best films, probably, and certainly not one of his more explicit ones (but as I said, it was 1966), but not bad either and certainly worth a look

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
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to the weirdly romantic,
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Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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