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Das Mikado Projekt

The Mikado Project

West Germany 1983
produced by
Born & Emrich Movie, Filmproduktion Marten Tage
directed by Torsten Emrich
starring Torsten Emrich, Eddie Constantine, Sabine Stoffel, Artur Rodrigues, Frank T.Smith, Tony Thomas, Anne Hoos, Werner R.Röglin, Alfred Edel, Burkhard Peters, Gaby Metzger
written by Herbert Born, Torsten Emmerich, music by Gerry Edmond, Daniele Prencipe

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Doctor Goltz (Frank T.Smith), a scientist who has invented the epsilon ray, which enables its owner to control others via television, is kidnapped by the evil organisation SKAFISCH. Sir Arthur (Artur Rodrigus) realizes there is only one man who can get him back, Max Mikado. Unfortunately though, instead of picking up Mikado at the airport, they bring in small-fry private detective Rudolf Randolf Wickenreuther(Torsten Emrich), and even Wickenreuther's total incompetence can't convince Sir Arthur that he is the wrong man.

Soon, Wickenreuther is teamed up with veteran secret agent Beppo Bourbon (Eddie Constantine) and lovely young Doris Sand (Sabine Stoffel), and the trio starts investigating in the matter ... not that they would come up with much (or anything), but fortunately SKAFISCH's men - a couple of ninjas and a bunch of bikers - are so incompetent that our heroes always stay ahead of the game.

Eventually, our trio is lured into a brothel, where Beppo is knocked out - and from then on believes to be an airplane - while Doris and Wickenreuther are captured and brought to the SKAFISCH-headquaters ... where they have to find out that the head behind SKAFISCH is Doc Goltz himself, who wants to use his epsilon ray to rule the world. Somehow though, Wickenreuther and Doris con overcome him and his gang - even though the secret service totally botches up a rescue attempt -, but fail to switch off the epsilon ray in time ... which is just as well, because when they start making out after their mission is finished and it's caught on camera and beamed around the world via epsilon ray, the whole world starts making out as well ...

 

A very weak comedy consisting of nothing but a series of badly told bad jokes ... and even the few good jokes that have somehow made it into the film's script, are ruined by either bad direction, aimless exaggeration, lazy acting or all three combined. Not even Eddie Constantie, who turns in a routine, good natured performance, can save the film.

In later days, this film was self-consciously marketed as a bad film, and director Torsten Emrich was compared to Ed Wood on even it's DVD-cover ... which would be promising too much, because while Ed Wood could turn out obviously bad but enjoyable films, this one is only bad.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!