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The Return of Swamp Thing

USA 1989
produced by
Benjamin Melniker, Michael E. Uslan, Tom Kuhn (executive), Charles Mitchell (executive) for Lightyear Entertainment
directed by Jim Wynorski
starring Louis Jourdan, Heather Locklear, Sarah Douglas, Dick Durock, Joey Sagal, Ace Mask, Monique Gabrielle, RonReaco Lee, Daniel Emery Taylor, Ralph Pace, Timothy Birch, Alex Van, Christopher Doyle, Rex Pierson, Tony Sears, Bill Eudaly, J. Don Ferguson, Cockroach Bob, Anthony Cecere, Jim Grimshaw, Albert B. Cooper IV, Kevin Schmidt,
written by Neil Cuthbert, Grant Morris, based on the comic book created by Len Wein, Bernie Wrightson, published by DC Comics, music by Chuck Cirino, special effects by Special Effects International, creature effects by Todd Masters Company

Swamp Thing

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD!

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Dr Arcane (Louis Jourdan) is developing a serum that ought to prolong his life indefinitely - and unfortunately that needs a lot of genetic testing, testing that's often quite illegal, which is why he and his team of scientists have found refuge deep in the swamps, where nobody really goes in the first place. However, his experiments have hit a wall - that is until the arrival of his stepdaughter Abby (Heather Locklear), who like her deceased mother has the perfect DNA for immortality - and this is perhaps a good point to stop even wondering about the scientific accuracy of this film. Anyways, Abby isn't really into Arcane's experiments, and before long, she tries to get away from the place but is dragged back to the lab - but the local swamp's monster Swamp Thing (Duck Durock) makes an attempt to save her - a failed attempt which has him blown to pieces, but somehow Swamp thing is able to put himself together inside Arcane's lab while Arcane's numer 2 Dr Zurrell (Sarah Douglas) helps Abby escape, mostly due to jealousy issues. However, Arcane is too close to reaching all his goals to let anything stop him now, so he throws anything he's got (including a bunch of monsters) into the fight, a fight he's not likely to lose ...

Fan favourite Monique Gabrielle makes a rather hilarious appearance as one of Arcane's security officers.

 

Wes Craven's Swamp Thing was a pretty serious and actually pretty decent monster movie, and one of the better if not better-known films in that man's somehow shaky career. For the sequel, director Jim Wynorski, whose star isn't up there with Craven's, but who has carved a niche out for himself over the years, has chosen to go a much campier route: The monster has a theme music now, delivers oneliners during action scenes, Heather Locklear (including her outfit) looks totally out of place and more eye candy than anything else, the science behind the film is (as mentioned above) ridiculous, and the whole story really far fetched - in other words, this movie really feels like a comicbook brought to screen - and frankly, that's precisely what the film actually is, literally. And it seems everybody had great fun doing the film. And as for Heather Locklear, caught somewhere between hit shows Dynasty and Melrose Place, seeming out of place - this is exactly what makes her role work as hilariously well as it does.

So basically, this film might never be considered a classic - but it's great genre fun nonetheless!

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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