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After his uncle McBride (Klaus Kinski) and his business partner Malu
(Eugene Choy) have killed each other over a legendary Six Star Ruby
each of them thought the other had, McBride's bumbling nephew Gene (Barry
Hickey) is flown from San Francisco to the Philippines to take care of the
unexpected inheritance (which also contains a ruby mine) with the help of
McBride's secretary Kelly (Suzanna Love) and his legal adviser Stern (Ulli
Lommel) ... and soon enough the young man finds himself in more troubles
that he could have ever hoped for: The neighbouring natives want back 3
Six Star Rubies his uncle has stolen from them !!!
But Gene only knows the whereabouts of two, and if that wasn't trouble
enough, there are two jewel thieves - Lupe (Kitty O'Shea) and Alex (Andy
Lyon) - after him, who also want to get their hads on the rubies. On their
way to retrieve the two rubies, Gene and Kelly (of course the two are in
the process of becoming a couple) have some mildly amusing and mildly
exciting adventures with a prostitute (Tania Alja) and a prince (Ho Sik
Pak), who knows a bit of magic and temporarily turns Kelly into a piglet,
then the two have to realize that lawyer Stern is actually working against
them and is actually in possession of the last ruby - and he has the
intention to shoot them ... until the two mummies of McBride's little
shrine come to life and strangle him ...
All's well that ends well ?
Not quite, there's still jewel thieves Lupe and Alex - who were so
impressed by Gene's and Kelly's performance that they hire them to work
for them ...
Oh boy, this one is really bad. I know I say this a lot, but this time
it once again is true.
Revenge of the Stolen Stars is a cross between comedy, bona fide
adventure, (Eastern) fantasy and horror ... and works on neither account:
It's not funny enough to be a comedy, not exciting enough for an adventure
flick, it lacks the imagination of proper fantasy, and it's not scary
enough to be horror. What remains are 75 minutes of cinematic boredom
which even the presence of Klaus Kinski cannot save and which only makes
you wonder how this Ulli Lommel can be the same Ulli Lommel who also
filmed with Rainer Werner Fassbinder ...
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