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Baddies Fairfax (Charles M. Huber) and Jacques (Jonathan Fuller) are traveling around town to collect all the different parts for a satellite tracking system that will somehow make them all powerful - and since they're baddies, they have the bad habit to always kill those who supply them with the parts. They travel around LA to collect them by helicopter, and their pilot Carrie (Anna Nicole Smith), ignorant to their bad business, is presently frustrated because her cop husband Gordon (Richard Steinmetz), doesn't want to have kids with her. Presently, our baddies have landed atop a highrise which their men have pretty much taken over coming in from below. Now having the whole building under their control and hostages on top of that, it should have been an easy in and out, but things go slightly bad when their contact doesn't hand over the part of the system as planned but takes off with it. Meanwhile Carrie, who was to have waited in the helicopter, has walked into the building to phone her home base since the baddies sabotaged her radio - and suddenly she comes into possession of the part. She of course immediately understands the gravity of the situation and does what anybody would do when totally untrained for the situation, she expertly hides the part, saves the lives of civilians and watchmen in over their head alike, easily outruns machine gun fire, shoots her ways through many baddies, kills the guy (Deron McBee) who tries to rape her, does her best to free the hostages, and ultimately not only saves the day but also the life of hubby Gordon, who has come in to save hers ...

The concept of this film is very obvious, it's Die Hard with Anna Nicole Smith filling in for Bruce Willis - and frankly that's where the movie slips up the most. And I'm not bashing Anna Nicole Smith here, but as the tough-as-nails chick she really feels like a fish out of water, and a generic script that gives her little to work with doesn't help much, either, nor do the many excuses for her to bare her breasts, which might be a pretty sight but also totally detracts from her character, especially seeing how oddly these scenes are placed. Truth to be told though, without the novelty of Smith replacing Willis, this film would have even less to go for, would feel even more generic - and "generic" really describes the problem of this film the best, as it isn't a genuinely "bad" film, Charles M. Huber, on a by then very rare break from German crime show Der Alte/The Old Fox, where he was a regular from 1986 to 1997, gives a spirited performance as Shakespeare-quoting main baddie, the film, while made on the fraction of the budget of Die Hard, does have sufficient funds to achieve what it has set out to, with many action setpieces that might not look inspired but at least well-crafted, and some nice stuntwork, so the film is actually ... ok-ish I guess, just absolutely nothing to write home about - and would be even less to write home about without the weird casting choice for the lead.

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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