Artie Pinsetter (Lou Costello) is a brilliant scientist who has invented a time-bending machine - but he is unable to communicate his scientific ideas to anyone, so he has started a business as trash collector to finance his scientific hobby.

Artie and Emmy Lou (Dorothy Provine), niece of local bigshot Raven Rossiter (Gale Gordon), are a couple, but since uncle Raven doesn't want a trash collector in his family and thinks very little of Artie on top of that, he and Emmy Lou have to keep their relationship a secret. Then though Emmy Lou grows to a height of 30 feet for no apparent reason, and since uncle Raven mistagenly thinks Artie has impregnated her, he has him married to her in a hurry, before realizing the problem is much bigger (pun intended).

Emmy Lou soon comes to hate her situation, because being the way she is, she thinks she cannot be a good housekeeper to her new husband, she thinks she's way too large in every way, and her fits of jealousy lead her to do stupid things. All of this is only slightly problematic though compared to the fact that the army eventually gets wind of a giant blonde terrorizing the neighbourhood, and when the Pentagon comes to the conclusion she has to be from Mars, they plan an attack - an attack that is eventually only averted by Artie's time-bending machine, which in the end saves the day, makes Emmy Lou normal again, gets Artie recognition as a scientist, makes him and Emmy Lou a normal loving couple, and teaches Raven Rossiter a lesson in ... well, in something.

The only film with Lou Costello in the lead without his longtime comedy partner Bud Abbott by his side - and I have to admit, Costello isn't bad when he isn't slapped in his face by his partner half the time and has to fall into an extended yet worn-out routine the other half of the time.

That said, The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock as a whole, which could have been a fun parody of then contemporary sci-fi-films about giants like The Amazing Colossal Man and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, is pretty much a disappointment, a film that merely takes the basic premise of these movies as a hanger for a few overly tried-and-true gags while dragging itself through a badly told and unfunny story. Well, I guess at least it's no worse than most floicks Lou Costello did with his partner Bud Abbott (click here), but that's not saying much ...

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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