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Zapper's Blade of Vengeance
The Swordsman
UK 1974
produced by Elizabeth Gray, Lindsay Shonteff for Lindsay Shonteff Film Productions
directed by Lindsay Shonteff
starring Linda Marlowe, Alan Lake, Jason Kemp, Tony Then, Edina Ronay, Noel Johnson, Peter Halliday, Michael O'Malley, Graham Ashley, William Ridoutt, David Robb, Iain Armstrong, Roland Oliver, Peter Wonson, Frederick Marks, Bruce Lidington, James Hennessy, Michael O'Brien, E. Pollard, Bob Prowse, Bruce Ferguson, Colin Osborne, Howard Nelson, Terry Mundy, Chris Roberts, Rex Grey
written by Hugh Brody, music by Colin Pearson, Roger Wootton
Zapper
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Christian Duval (Noel Johnson) is forced by his son Reynaud (Alan Lake)
to make him the sole heir of his vast fortune, upon which Reynaud promptly
murders him by sword and blames the murder on the family's arch enemy.
When Reynaud tells his younger brother Karel (Jason Kemp) about it, he
assures him he will still pay for his education and promises support in
everything - but also lets on that Karel might be adopted, though remains
mum about who his actual parents might be. Desperately wanting to find out
about his identity, Karel hires private eye Harriet Zapper (Linda
Marlowe), who soon enough figures there's something rotten - especially
after Karel is almost killed by crossbow by Reynaud's right hand woman Guy
(Edina Ronay). Paying a visit to Reynaud convinces Zapper he's not quite
on the level, especially when shortly afterwards, she's almost beaten to a
pulp by five bodybuilders at her gym and only saved by her martial arts
savvy assistant Hock (Tony Then). So Zapper has Karel arrested as a
precaution and goes to France to track down Karel's parents - but doesn't
find a single clue, but strong evidence for Reynaud actually being the
adopted one. Also she's followed by Guy, who does her best to get her by
crossbow but is ultimately killed by Zapper using her handgun. Back in the
UK, she, Karel and Hock, all armed with swords, go to Reynaud's mansion
for an all-fencing showdown ... Replacing martial arts with
fencing and toning down the sexual content considerably, Zapper's Blade
of Vengeance isn't quite as wild as Big
Zapper, but still campy nostalgic fun, and really everything that
one that one can objectively hold against the movie, like its tonal shifts
from cartoon violence to actual violence, its not so great action scenes,
its over-simplifications, its far-fetchedness, and quite generally its
pulp heritage, somehow works for the movie - at least if you're the
forgiving type that just wants to have fun. And entertaining this film is,
leaping pretty much right into action at the start and then never letting
go - and in all, it's like an old-fashioned comicbook come to life, in the
most amusing way.
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review © by Mike Haberfelner
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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes, cuddly toys and shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill Your Bones to is all of that.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle,
all thought up by the twisted mind of screenwriter and film reviewer Michael Haberfelner.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to
the new anthology by Michael Haberfelner
Out now from Amazon!!! |
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