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USA 2002
directed by Dante Tomaselli
starring The Amazing Kreskin, Lizzy Mahon, Danny Lopes, Vincent Lamberti, Christy Sanford, Jessica Pagan, Raine Brown, Kevin Kenney, Chris Farabaugh, Felissa Rose
written by Dante Tomaselli, music by Dante Tomaselli, Raz Mesinai (opening theme)

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Luck (Danny Lopes), Anmanda (Raine Brown), Marisa (Jessica Pagan), Kevin (Kevin Kenney) & Fred (Chris Farabaugh) escape from a clinic where they were detained for drug abuse, with a basket full of drugs a reverend gave them (!), but unfortunately Luck had to kill a guard during the escape. Even while still just running from the clinic in a stolen car, our five juvenile delinquents start taking the drugs, not the least suspicious about their origin, but they soon get their just punishment as Fred turns (literally) blue in the face & throws up violently.

Shocked, they stop at the next house - incidently that of the reverend (Vincent Lamberti), who, with his wife (Chrissy Sanford), takes great delight in drugging his daughter Grace (Lizzy Mahon). Luck stumbles in as they're doing just that & - having drug induced hallucinations - kills both Grace's parents. But Grace is not the most stable in mind, as she hallucinates about living with her grandpa (The Amazing Kreskin), who suddenly disappears from one moment to the next, with her mother telling her the man has been dead for a week, then Grace suddenly awakes to Luck & company trying to get rid of her parents' corpses. 

But one after the other, our juveniles die under mysterious circumstances as well, & outside Grace's house zombies start to assemble, with only luck managing to get past the zombie hordes. Grace meanwhile finds some secret passagewayys in her house & some proof that her gramps might not have been the holy man (he was a reverend) she thought him to be but a satanist. & soon she finds the man is not even dead, & he places her gently on a torture rack to ... well torture her ! She faints, but upon waking up again finally manages to escape the house ... to get torn apart & eaten up by the zombies.

Luck meanwhile suddenly wakes up in the clinic again, where he finds Grace in a coma in the next room, & her parents who promptly attack him. However, he manages to escape, shoot a guard & find the reverend's basket of drugs ...


Low budget horror-movie that is not entirely without interest or ideas, as its lack of money actually works for the film instead of against it, having in large parts to make up in inventiveness what it lacks in special effects. On the other hand though the film tries way too hard to be enigmatic & mysterious, while using already overused symbolism & imagery that simply fails to give the viewer the impression of seeing something really original. Also the main characters are way too flat to uphold any real interest in or sympathy for them, making the whole thing a rather bland - if sometimes interesting - affair in the end.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from