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El Tesoro de la Diosa Blanca

Diamonds of Kilimandjaro
Treasure of the White Goddess / Mondo Cannibale IV / Nackt unter Wilden

Spain 1983
produced by
Eurociné
directed by Jess Franco
starring Katja Bienert, Robert Foster (= Antonio Mayans), Olivier Mathot, Dan Villers, Albino Graziani, Yolanda Gonzáles, Mari Carmen Nieto, Lina Romay

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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When word gets to terminally ill Lina Romay that a treasure hunter was saved from the wrath of the Moris by their topless white godess Liana (Katja Bienert), she sends out a search party, believing that the girl is her long lost daughter. The search party, a motley crew if you ever saw one (consisting among others of whiskey-slurping Oliver Mathot & his pump- & hotpants-wearing wife), is at each others throat even before they start their expedition into the juingle. 

To everyone's surprise, they actually make it to the Mori's territory, where they foolishly kill one of them right away. Again, Liana saves the day because of having taken a liking to the strange white men (& woman), especially one of them, who she decides to be her first lover. Also, she agrees for them to have an audience with her father (Dan Villers), the Mori's chieftain, who welcomes them with open arms at first, but soon gets the paranoid feeling they would just want his diamonds (which is not entirely untrue), a feeling further nourished by the suspicions of the tribe's black priestess Loba (Yolanda González). In the end, the whole search-party is slaughtered, & Dan Villers has to find out he is as much dominated by Loba as he dominates the Moris.

 


Definitely not one of Jess Franco's better movies, this is nevertheless one of the funnier pictures of Franco's early-80's output. Caring little about political correctness or ethnological accuracy, he tells a pulp story of an African-native tribe & their white Goddess decidedly tongue in cheek, & with his usual use of cinematic techniques that became closely associated with him: weird camera angles, bumpy camera movements & zoom-ins & zoom-outs every now & again. The uniformly not so great performances of the actors (with both Oliver Mathot's & Dan Villers' portrayals bordering the deranged), the cheapness of the sets & the cheesyness of the dialogues are just adding to the great fun-atmosphere of the movie that is best consumed with beer.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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