Because the kids of Springwood no longer remember him, Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) - unable to appear in their dreams - is condemned to hell. There however he stumbles over Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger), & figures if he sends Jason back to earth to go on a killing spree through Springwood, Freddy's name will inevitably pop up somewhere, giving him back his powers over the living. Of course the plan works, & soon Freddy can kill all the children he wants through their dreams ... wouldn't there be Jason, who more often than not beats him to the kids to kill them himself. & then there is of course the usual bunch of meddling kids: virginal Lori (Monica Keena), her boyfriend Will (Jason Ritter) - who was one of the few kids who remembered Freddy but was put into a sanatorium & drugged in order not to dream (hence depriving Freddy of his battlefield) -, Kia (Kelly Rowland of pop/R'n'N-group Destiny's Child-fame), young & nerdy but inventive Linderman (Chris Marquette), dopehead Freeburg (Kyle Labine) & Stubbs (Lochlyn Munro), who at some point figure out to escape Freddy they have to get the drugs from sanatorium, but unfortunately their plan goes haywire when Freddy possesses Freeburg & puts Jason - who is already after the meddling kids himself - to sleep via an injection (even though his temporary body is cut apart) to fight him in his dream-realm.

Then it gets really stupid as the kids device yet another plan that involves Lori pulling Freddy out of her dreams into the real world & at the same time waking up Jason, 6 all is supposed to happen on Camp Crystal (from the original Friday the 13th). After a long fight with tons of explosions it seems that Freddy has killed Jason but survived the ordeal, now menacingly closing in on Lori, until Jason, with his dying breath, stabs him from behind, & Lori beheading him.

Of our human heroes - need I say it - only Lori & Will have survived.

Despite plotting Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees against each other sounds like a fun idea & the movie even has relatively decent production values & was quite successful with a mainstream audience too, it is just the pits: It tells exactly the same slasher story that has been told for the last 25 years, uses the same clich�s & characters, as well as including many godawful highschool-scenes, with a storyline that is more messed up & stupid than most of the others in the A Nightmare on Elm Street-series, while lacking all of its surreal elements (this is about nightmares after all). & another thing - this is supposed to be a horrormovie, so why isn't it in the least scary ?

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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