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Still in prison aboard the Red Dwarf, cellmates Lister (Craig Charles)
and Rimmer (Chris Barrie) have to report to the Captain (Mac McDonald) a
tad too often mainly thanks to Lister's irresponsible pranks and Rimmer's
talent to make things even worse. So ultimately, the two of them are
thrown into the hole.
Meanwhile, their friends Kryten (Robert Llewellyn), Kachanski (Chloe
Annett) and Cat (Danny John-Jules) haven't been idle, and from one
of their missions to possibly dangerous spaceships they have brought back
the time wand, basically ... well, a wand that can control time (hence
then name). And because they think this would be a wonderful thing to
shorten their term in prison, they try it out on the Red Dwarf's crew, and
soon have frozen in time everyone but themselves, Rimmer, Lister, their
new cellmate Birdman (Ian Masters) and his sparrow Pete.
Soon enough, Lister, Rimmer, Birdman and Pete are saved from the
hole, but then the timewand somehow turns Pete into a man-eating
dinosaur with a strong appetite, and the first things Pete eats are
Birdman - and the timewand.
Now our heroes are doomed, since they have no idea of how to kill
dinosaurs - and can't turn Pete back without the timewand. So they have
the brilliant idea to give Pete diarrhea by feeding him a giant cow
vindaloo ...
Now the idea wouldn't have been too bad, but meanwhile the ship's crew
have been unfrozen in time, and a batallion led by the captain has snuck
up on the dinosaur from behind (unfortunately - or fortunately -
the results of this are not shown, only described).
Anyways, this results in Rimmer and Lister having report to the
Captain's office yet again, and this time the Captain orders them to
restate Pete to his bird-state, otherwise they fill be executed.
The good news is, the boys manage to turn Pete into a bird again ...
the bad news is, Pete (obviously a female Pete) has laid an egg while
still a dinosaur, and the egg has hatched, and Pete's offspring has paid a
visit to the captain ... who at the end of this episode confines himself
to the hole - if only to see Lister and Rimmer never ever again.
Even though the story is totally far-fetched, the episode works
beautifully, totally centering on Rimmer and Lister as the (well-oiled)
terrible duo, with the Captain making a great foil. The time wand, the
dinosaur, and even Rimmer's and Lister's buddies are actually nothing more
than added attractions to this narrative core.
Great fun !
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