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Slaughter Beach
USA 2022
produced by Daniel C. Davis, James Brett Taylor for Clockout Films
directed by Daniel C. Davis
starring Jon McKoy, Ethan Han, Jim Cannatelli, Oscar Aguilar, Amy Lynn Patton, Michelle Quenzel, Shawn Shillingford, Heather Street, Mark McCaffery, Kiyneeanay Dykes, Jeanette Pacifico, Tony Prado, William Kramer, Erich Reich, Rob McNeal jr, Ben Janocha
written by Daniel C. Davis, music by Sam Bishoff, special gore effects by Isabelle Isel
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Some seaside tourist town: Barry's (Ethan Han) dad (Oscar Aguilar)
forces him and his best friend Ralph (Jon McKoy) to get themselves jobs if
they want to continue to stay under his roof. Thing is, Barry and Ralph
aren't all that good at job hunting, and they're not all that into getting
a job in the first place, so after a day of not finding anything, they
decide to pronounce themselves superheroes guarding the beach, with Barry
calling himself Awesome Boy and Ralph Bludgeon Man. Thing is, they're not
really cut out to be superheroes, neither of them has any superpowers or
even special skills, neither's even a decent fighter, and their weapons of
choice, a slingshot for Barry, a shovel for Ralph, aren't all that
impressive either. What works in their favour a bit then is that they're
as bad as crime finding as they are at crime fighting and for the longest
time they're really oblivious to the fact that the beach they're
patrolling actually needs a superhero, as Fish Man Sam (Jim Cannatelli) is
making the rounds, killing unsuspecting tourists by the scores, turning
their remains into bait. It's really by chance our heroes even find out
about it when they buy a can of bait from Fish Man Sam's store and find it
being human remains. But by then it might already be much too late, as
Fish Man Sam has already captured Barry's dad ... Now I won't
lie to you, Slaughter Beach was obviously made on a moderate
budget, so some allowances have to be made on the technical side of things
to properly enhoy this one - and enjoyable it is for sure, as its comedy,
if at times slightly moronic, is pretty hilarious, Jon McKoy and Ethan Han
make a very likeable and relatable duo, and Jim Cannatelli is a suitably
creepy villain, with a hammy streak to him for sure. And the film's gory
bits should leave any horror film in awe for sure.
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review © by Mike Haberfelner
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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes, cuddly toys and shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill Your Bones to is all of that.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle,
all thought up by the twisted mind of screenwriter and film reviewer Michael Haberfelner.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to
the new anthology by Michael Haberfelner
Out now from Amazon!!! |
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