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Slaughter Beach

USA 2022
produced by
Daniel C. Davis, James Brett Taylor for Clockout Films
directed by Daniel C. Davis
starring Jon McKoy, Ethan Han, Jim Cannatelli, Oscar Aguilar, Amy Lynn Patton, Michelle Quenzel, Shawn Shillingford, Heather Street, Mark McCaffery, Kiyneeanay Dykes, Jeanette Pacifico, Tony Prado, William Kramer, Erich Reich, Rob McNeal jr, Ben Janocha
written by Daniel C. Davis, music by Sam Bishoff, special gore effects by Isabelle Isel

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Some seaside tourist town: Barry's (Ethan Han) dad (Oscar Aguilar) forces him and his best friend Ralph (Jon McKoy) to get themselves jobs if they want to continue to stay under his roof. Thing is, Barry and Ralph aren't all that good at job hunting, and they're not all that into getting a job in the first place, so after a day of not finding anything, they decide to pronounce themselves superheroes guarding the beach, with Barry calling himself Awesome Boy and Ralph Bludgeon Man. Thing is, they're not really cut out to be superheroes, neither of them has any superpowers or even special skills, neither's even a decent fighter, and their weapons of choice, a slingshot for Barry, a shovel for Ralph, aren't all that impressive either. What works in their favour a bit then is that they're as bad as crime finding as they are at crime fighting and for the longest time they're really oblivious to the fact that the beach they're patrolling actually needs a superhero, as Fish Man Sam (Jim Cannatelli) is making the rounds, killing unsuspecting tourists by the scores, turning their remains into bait. It's really by chance our heroes even find out about it when they buy a can of bait from Fish Man Sam's store and find it being human remains. But by then it might already be much too late, as Fish Man Sam has already captured Barry's dad ...

 

Now I won't lie to you, Slaughter Beach was obviously made on a moderate budget, so some allowances have to be made on the technical side of things to properly enhoy this one - and enjoyable it is for sure, as its comedy, if at times slightly moronic, is pretty hilarious, Jon McKoy and Ethan Han make a very likeable and relatable duo, and Jim Cannatelli is a suitably creepy villain, with a hammy streak to him for sure. And the film's gory bits should leave any horror film in awe for sure.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

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Tales to Chill
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD