The evil Spider-Man and his gang are stealing cultural artefacts all over Turkey, then sells them for cheap overseas, then buys them back at high prices - but with forged money. So the US- and the Mexigan gouvernment have decided to send their top heroes to Istanbul, Captain America (Deniz Erkanat) and Santo (Yavuz Selekman). The two heroes, along with Captain America's girlfriend Julia and local cop Orhan, now try to foil Spider-Man's plans at every step along the way, but it seems Spider-Man himself always eludes them ... and eventually, when our heroes have finally wrestled him down, he seems to have any number of doppelgangers, and whomever they defeat or even kill, it's never the real Spider-Man.

Eventually, Captain America, Santo and Julia all end up prisoners of the Spider-Man, but of course our heroes manage to break out and now take apart Spider-Man's headquarters from the inside, fighting off and/or killing everyone who comes in their way, be it Spider-Man's henchmen or even more of his doppelgangers. And in the end, they have the real Spider-Man run over by a freight wagon, right in his own warehouse ... and once more the world is saved.

Since in the 1970's, copyright laws in Turkey were notoriously lax, the producers had no problems using established superhero-characters Captain America, El Santo and Spider-Man for their film. The outcome is a typical Turkish superhero-movie: reminiscent in style of American serials of the 1930's and 40's (not at least because of the film's episodic structure), but filled with violence (one woman has her face destroyed by a ship's turbine, a man has a pipe attached to his head, then rats are put inside the pipe ...) - if not too graphic - and sex (it seems every time Spider-Man is breaking into a house, someone is having sex inside) - if not too explicite -, and definitely made on the cheap (it doesn't even seem that our heroes' costumes are fitting them too well).

The outcome is a welcome piece of good-natured but definitely mindless piece of cinematic trash. If you try to take this film any serious, you will hate it, but if you can accept and enjoy its sillyness and its cheapishness, you just might as well love it.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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