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Schulmädchen Report: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten

Schoolgirl Report: What Parents don't Think is Possible
Confessions of a Sixth Form Girl / Schoolgirl Report Part 1

West Germany 1970
produced by
Wolf C.Hartwig for Rapid Film
directed by Ernst Hofbauer
starring Günther Kieslich, Wolf Harnisch, Helga Kruck, Friedrich von Thun, Jutta Speidel, Claudia Höll, Lisa Fitz, Waltraud Schaeffler, Alexander Miller, Gernot Möhner, Karl-Heinz Otto, Franziska Stömmer, Tonio von der Meden, Hertha von Walther, Marion Haberl, Sandra Kruger, Gunther Möhner, Gitti Netzle, Mascha Rabben, Michael Schreiner, Gundi Schwöbel, Karin Simsel, Susanne Woelfel
screenplay by Günther Heller, based on the book by Günther Hunold with an epilogue by Kurt Seelmann, music by Gert Wilden

Schulmädchen-Report/Schoolgirl Report

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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On a schooltrip, young Renate is caught having sex with the busdriver.

Soon enough, the principal, the theachers' board and the parents' board want her thrown out of the school, all but psychologist Doctor Bernauer (Günther Kieslich), who takes a stand for her and tells the parents and teachers a few story about today's youth and their attitude towards sex.

The first story concerns Heike (Jutta Speidel), who tries to arouse chaplain Reitmayer (Tonio von der Meden) during confession, but no such luck. Next up is Susanne (Lisa Fitz), who seduces her private tutor, then there's Elisabeth, who's caught masturbating by her mother. Then there's the story of Michelle, who shagged around until she found the right man. A group of girls force lifeguard Theo (Gernot Möhner) to let them into a public swimming pool one night to do a bit of skinny dipping. Hannelore & Herma lose their virginity with two guys on a construction site (Waltraud Schaeffler) one sunny day. Marlene seduces her sports teacher. Only Lilo (Claudia Höll) does not want to have sex with her boyfriend Axel (Alexander Miller). But then her friend Irm tells her about ther sexual encounters - how she once was almost raped by one of her friend's fathers, then had lesbian relationships in dancing school, then did fail to have an orgasm when she lost her virginity, but gradually she has come to like it - and, convinced by this little story, Lilo gets all horny, goes to Axel's appartment while he is out, undresses and conveniently places herself in his bed ...

After the teachers and parents have heard Bernauer's stories, they all agree to not expell young Renate.

From today's point of view, Schulmädchen-Report looks like a positively tame piece of soft erotica, that's sometimes quite silly (especially the interviews by Friedrich von Thun intersperseed throughout the film where he asks - exclusively female - passers-by things like "do you masturbate ?), sometimes intentionally but more often unintentionally funny, sometimes even quite erotic, but above all it's a piece of nostalgia one can't help but loving in one way or another.

Back in 1970 however (remember, that was before the advent of hardcore) the film caused quite a stir for its racy content and overt sexuality at least in Germany ... and wouldn't you know it, in Germany it was the most successful film of the year and the most successful German film ever.

But why ?

In my opinion it was not so much the nudity that made the film work - it didn't hurt either, but even then sex films were pretty much a dime a dozen - but the semi-serious approach to the subject (in the beginning it is even claimed that the film is a documentary), that of course looks totally ridiculous from today's point of view, but back then it gave the film a certain respectability that elevated it above similar sleaze without the almost scientific approach.

However, whether you see the film as an unintentionally hilarious piece of erotica, a lovable piece of nostalgia or a record of its time, you will probably find youself loving it.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from