13 years afer she saw her father killed quite horribly, Sonia (Romina Mondello) takes up a job as costume designer at Boris Volkoff's (Robert Hossein) wax museum, where a gruesome murder took place just the previous night. No sooner does she have the job is she approached by investigative journalist Andrea (Riccardo Serventi Longhi), who smells a story when he sees one & needs an inside source in the museum. Of course, Sonia is first reluctant but soon changes her mind as she falls in love with the man. Meanwhile a few more murders occur, while more & more wax-statues, resembling the victims, turn up in the museum. & one of the few surviving victims of our murderer describes a gruesome mechanic metal hand - much the same hand that murdered Sonia's father 13 years earlier. The inspector who investigated the case back then (Aldo Massasso) thinks so too & arrives just in time to save Sonia from an assault by the killer - but he soon falls victim to the villain himself. Secretly witnessing the lovemaking of Sonia & Andrea, Volkoff is reminded of his own wife, how he found her making love to another man, & hwo that other man pushed him into hot wax. Incredibly, he survived that ordeal though, but had to cover his whole body in wax in order to hide his burnt features & limbs ... and he has a mechanic metal hand ! As it turns out, Volkoff is not only Sonia's employer but her real father, the man she saw killed - by Volkoff - was actually only her stepfather, & now Volkoff wants to preserve his daughter forever ... as a wax statue. Of course, hero Andrea, finally having found Volkoff's secret lab, saves her in the nick of time & sopmehow (of course) the museum is set on fire. But Volkoff isn't exactly the man who can't stand the heat, so even as a skeleton - in a scene that was lifted directly from the showdown of Terminator, but still manages to give you a chuckle - he goes after Sonia & Andrea before being finally destroyed ... or is he ?

Somewhat charming but at the same time pointless period piece, with a - despite some nice gore- & computer-effects - very old-fashioned directorial effort by FX-master Sergio Stivaletti (actually, this movie was to be directed by scriptwriter Lucio Fulci & to be the first collaboration between him & Dario Argento, but he died prior to this). Unfortunately though, the screenplay is overly complex & somewhat muddled, and at the same time manages to be completely predictable - the plot of a house of wax using human corpses as statues wasn't completely new in the 90's, now was it !?

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
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Tales to Chill
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
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from the post-apocalyptic
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tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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