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Santa (Ron Jeremy) and his (male) elf are incredibly horny, but without
a woman in sight, and their neighbour audibly banging his girlfriend
doesn't help much, either. The elf goes out to pick up some broad, but fat
chance considering he's still in his elf-uniform! Santa meanwhile stays
home to masturbate to his neighbours' lovemaking.
The elf gets luckier
though - if paying a hooker for a blowjob in a back alley and then getting
robbed by her matches your definition of "getting lucky" at
It's Christmas shopping day, and Santa and his elf notice they
haven't got any money, so they try to earn some dough as landscapers for
some rich out-of-town client - and it's not long before they rent their
client's place out to a porn production company shooting a threeway scene.
the money from the porn company, the elf quits his dayjob and thinks he
can live off the money paid for renting out his client's house for sex
shoots alone - and he especially figures he'll get laid a lot ... and what
do you know, ultimately he gets to fuck Annie Cruz ...
Santa in a porn movie?
Now that sounds like a fun idea - one would
almost think that's a movie that writes itself ...
And yet, Very Very
Bad Santa is pretty much a major disappointment: Basically, the
Christmas theme is dropped not even halfway through the movie, Santa isn't
in any of the sexscenes himself (not that I'd want to see Ron Jeremy
naked, but Santa fucking would have made sense in the context of this
movie), and as for the sexscenes: The girls are almost uniformly from the
fake-boobs persuasion, and they don't really seem to be into their scenes.
Only in the final scene, Annie Cruz (real boobs, by the way) shows genuine
enthusiasm concerning fucking, but that's too little too late ...