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Cryptids

USA 2023
produced by
Justin M. Seaman (executive), Zane Hershberger (executive), Simon Lustenberger (executive), P.J. Starks (executive) for Silver Springs Films, Nevermore Production Films, Lustenberger Pictures
directed by Justin M. Seaman (framing segment, segment Trick or Beast), Zane Hershberger (segment Scared), Robert Kuhn (segment The Forest Bride), John William Holt (segment Frog Me Forever), Brett DeJager (segment A Hopkinsville Encounter), Billy 'Bloody Bill' Pon (segment Chupacabra Death Machines), Max Groan (segment Infectious)
starring framing segment: Joe Bob Briggs (= John Bloom), Dave Joseph, Wayne W. Johnson, and the voices of Stephanie Swift, Rick Dutrow, Mister Lobo: segmernt Scared; Jordan Beltz, Sable Griedel, Bobby Sasser, Ian Lemmon, Wendy Wygant, Jason English, Dakota Corwin, Tara Patterson, Damien Pezzuti, Jedediah Giacchino; segment The Forest Bride: Phillip Redman, Cortland Woodard, Bianca Allaine, Jedediah Giacchino, Caden Holmes, Sable Griedel, Ben Dietels; segment Frog Me Forever: Drew Marvick, Warren Ray, Christopher Bower, Addian Holloman, Dustin Lynn, Allan Walters; segment A Hopkinsville Encounter: Marissa Saratucci, Ben Daniels, Gary Leone, Jaime Handra, Shawn Kinsinger, Allen Regimbal, Allison Berg, Neal Jones (voice); segment Chupacabra Death Machines: Esau Ramirez, Cameron Vitosh, Aaron Steadmon, Jacob Orona, Andy Sandoval, Lorenzo Pineda, Gyan Ramirez, Gaeb Ramirez, Esteban Subia, Ramon Sánchez, Jay Pierce, Jose Huerta, Ruben Reyes, Antonío Loera, Roy Shuck, Ericc Rocha, Coby Capri; segment Infectious: Eliot Wise, Carson Christopner, Daniel Alan Kiely, Tiffany Kiely; segment Trick or Beast: Josh Stewart, Sé Marie Volk, Chad Bruns, David Hampton, Sara Kuhn
written by: framing segment: Zane Hershberger, Justin M. Seaman, segments Scared, Trick or Beast: Zane Hershberger, segment The Forest Bride: Robert Kuhn, segment Frog Me Forever: Jason Turner, segment A Hopkinsville Encounter: Brett DeJager, segment Chupacabra Death Machines: Billy 'Bloody Bill' Pon, segment Infectious: Max Groan, music by Matt Cannon, Rocky Gray

review by
Mike Haberfelner


A Screambox exclusive:

For Mothman Day, radio host Harlan Dean (Joe Bob Briggs) accepts only calls from listeners who have stories about encounters with creatures from cryptozoology - or more accurately from urban legend:

  • Scared: In order to overcome her fear of the dark, Heather (Sable Griedel) and her friends (Bobby Sasser, Ian Lemmon, Wendy Wygant) have taken a trip to the countryside where she's to face her feat. Too bad they've picked a neck of the woods that's inhabited by a vengeful tribe of deformed people that have escaped from a sinister research institute and noe are on a vengeful and quite cannibalistic rampage ...
  • The Forest Bride: Park rangers James and Steve (Phillip Redman, Cortland Woodard) receive a distress call about a group of campers missing in the woods. Going to investigate, they find one of the campers (Bianca Allaine), out of her mind with fear - and the creatures that have very probably takne her friends ..
  • Frog Me Forever: Oren (Warren Ray) isn't only a terrible fishing guide, he's also a horrible (self-appointed) cryptozoologist. But that doesn't mean he can't find a monster every once in a while - or is the monster actually finding him?
  • A Hopkinsville Encounter: Billy (Shawn Kinsinger) has found an egg of obviously unearthly origin - and despite him living in an UFO-infested region and having actually had a run-in with aliens previously, he has no better idea than to use the egg as part of this year's Halloween decoration of his house. Well, the aliens want what's theirs back ...
  • Chupacabra Death Machines: Somewhere in Texas, drug cartel bosses match dealers fallen from grace against Chupacabras - for pure entertainment ... and of course high stakes on the betting table.
  • Infectious: Two youngsters (Eliot Wise, Carson Christopner) find an alien, knock it out and figure it's a good idea to bring it to their mad scientist friend Corey (Daniel Alan Kiely). Only the alien is carrying a virus they only help spread.
  • Trick or Beast: Shawn (Josh Stewart), Matt (Chad Burns) and Shawn's cynical sister Leah (Sé Marie Volk) are trying to hunt down a monster from local lore. Thing is, there's more than one party after the creature, and some parties are intent on killing - the monster and/or whoever else gets in their way ...

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As with many anthology movies by multiple writers and directors, this is of course a bit of a mixed bag, as the segments range from the dead serious to the overtly silly, from the contemporary to the nostalgic, and from the subtle to the unabashedly visceral, and in accordance with that, the quality also varies a bit - but still, what all the diverse segments have in common is that they wear their love for monster movies on their sleeves and were made by clearly genre savvy people, and this is really infectious and will thus please horror fans with great ease.

 

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin

Batman

Bigfoot

Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

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Cinderella

Deerslayer

Dick Tracy

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Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory

Emmanuelle

Fantomas

Flash Gordon

Frankenstein

Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu

Fuzzy

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Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim

Justine

Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution

Lobo

Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III

Maciste

Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong

Mothra

The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

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Quatermass

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Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

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Tarzan

Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen

Winnetou

Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman

Yojimbo

Zatoichi

Zorro

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!