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Chikan Densha: Chinchin Hassha

Groper Train: Wedding Capriccio
Molester Train: Departure Whistle / Molester Train 24

Japan 1984
produced by
Ryu Inou for Shintoho
directed by Yojiro Takita
starring Yuka Takemura, Rei Matsubara, Yoshimi Kai, Yukijiro Hotaru, Tatsuya Nagatomo, Yutaka Ikejima, Yonosuke Tatekawa, Shuji Kataoka, Shinji Kubo, Katsuo Sakai
written by Isao Takagi, music by Los Geewack

Molester Train

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Detective Kuroda's (Yukijiro Hotaru) assistant Hamako (Yuka Takemura) needs to get married pretty much immediately, otherwise her family in her village will be shot dead (it's a tradition you know). So the family sends her over a fiancé. Hamako however has no intention to marry this country bumpkin, and since she has just had a fall-out with her boss she has had an on-off-relationship for years, she just takes the train and asks the first man who fondles her to pose as her fiancé. Luckily, this first man is Gin, a composer and very wealthy heir-to-be. He even tricks her into actually marrying him ...

Kuroda meanwhile is hired by wealthy businessman Ohno to find his daughter Hiromi. Thing is, Ohno is on his death bed, and he hasn't seen his daughter in years but wants to leave half his fortune to her. The only clue he can give Kuroda though is that Hiromi has a diamond filling in one of her back teeth. So Kuroda proceeds to investigate the case the only way he knows to - to fondle women on a train, and when they start to moan check their back teeth (really). He doesn't get any results though, and then he sees on the news that Hiromi has been killed, right in front of her husband Kiura, whose leg has been broken during the attack. Kuroda wants to bring the sad news to Ohno, only to find out he has just died - while having sex with his secretary Itoe.

Hamako in the meantime wants to get rid of her country bumpkin would-be fiancé but introducing him to Gin, but she finds Gin dead, shot. She calls Kuroda for help ... and incidently it turns out Gin was actually Ohno's son, the other heir to his fortune. Of course, it's more than likely that the two cases are linked, right?

Kuroda's first suspect is Kiura, but it turns out his alibi is airtight. It's just interesting to note that Kiura has an affair with Ohno's secretary Itoe ...

Kuroda discovers that with his dying breath, Gin has typed a melody into his Casio musical calculator, made up of notes that if translated into Japanese mean "I-To-He" - and thus, Kuroda devices a trap to capture Itoe red-handed with Hamako as bait, a trap that springs quite beautifully. He is however convinced that Itoe was in cahoots with Kiura, but can't prove a thing to that effect ...

The reading of the will: To noone's real surprise, Ohno has willed his entire fortune to Hiromi and Gin in equal parts, but since both of them are dead, the money should fall to their spouses, right. Yes and no: You see, Hiromi was killed an hour prior to Ohno's death, so she has technically never inherited the money, so Kiura can't have it either. Gin on the other hand was killed well after Ohno's death, and since Hamako is legally married to him (even though he tricked her), the money goes to ...

Hamako dresses up for her wedding to her country bumpkin fiancé, but runs away the very last minute to instead travel the world with her limitless amount of money to back her, and Kuroda as her companion ...

 

Not the funniest film of the Molester Train-series, this one just isn't over-the-top enough to really convince. It's just too conventional a murder mystery, and the sex scenes (apart from the two train sequences) also seem to be on the conventional, even conservative side. And the provocative, radically anti-PC sentiment of other stories is by-and-large absent here. Sure, the whole thing is still silly enough to make one chuckle repeatedly, but whoever knows the series has every reason to expect more ...

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
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Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

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