Journalist Ruth (Julia Foster) is assigned to go undercover to uncover the sometimes questionable methods of the "Think Thin" fatfigher clinic - something she finds a bit humiliating because she's rather fond of her few extra pounds (and it aren't many, even). Well, at least at the clinic, she meets Ben (Warren Clarke), a man about her age who's single like her, and before you know it the two of them have their first date ... but when Ben drives home from the date, he has a car accident and dies.

At Ben's wake, Ruth meets Andrew (Gerard Kelly), the funeral home's assistant who convinces her there's something fishy about Ben's death, and when they that night break into the funeral home, they find there's no body in the coffin. Later they find the body in the morgue though, and Ruth follows it back to Chesterton's (Richard Pearson) clinic, where Ruth soon has herself admitted. She later find's Ben's body transferred to Chesterton's private home - and when she breaks in, Chesterton catches her and ... invites her to dinner. In fact, he has arranged a reunion dinnerparty for his friends, all survivors of a planecrash - who only managed to stay alive until they were found by turning to cannibalism. So that means the dinner they are going to get is ... ouch!

The premise of this episode is simply excellent, pretty much as macabre as it is mean. The execution: Not so much. Basically, too much time is spent on pointless supporting characters and subplots, for the most part, the macabre elements are few and far between, the direction is often clumsy and seems to avoid suspense at all costs (especially in the scenes where Ruth follows the hearse in which Ben's corpse is carried by car in plain sight and nobody at all seems to notice), and the punchline seems to announce itself miles ahead and is then extended way beyond breaking point.

That's not to say the whole thing is totally without merit, cast, certain narrative elements and especially the macabre premise are all pretty great - it's just an story that never fully lives up to its promise.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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