Alan (Brian Deacon) breaks into an abandoned church that's about to be demolished with his girlfriend Kim (Carol Royle) with the sole purpose of proposing to her - but instead she is brutally murdered by a red-robed man called Martin (Peter Wyngarde), and Alan starts having memories of a former incarnation of his from 1649, when his former self opposed a group of Satanists led by Martin. In the here and now though, he's the prime and only suspect for his girlfriend's murder, and he is ultimately arrested.

As a matter of fact, quite a few unexplained murders have been happening in the abandoned church, so researcher Caroline (Barbi Benton) and demolition-supervisor Peter (Gareth Hunt) form an uneasy alliance to investigate the whole affair, and find out that the church once housed a bunch of Satanists led by Martin, and that they all were either burned to death or walled in - but it seems that the demolition has set them free again.

Ultimately, Alan escapes captivity - and just in time too, since a certain army general who turns out to be the reincarnation of Martin, is presently inspecting the destruction site ... but Alan arrives just in time to throw him through a brick wall and kill him - when another reborn Satanist (Richard Hampton) blows up the site ...

Mediocre horror story, not too bad on the plot level (if you can look past the implausibilities inherent to the genre), but by and large lacking thrills and excitement, instead treating the viewer with lengthy scenes of investigations. Still, there are (far) worse horror films out there.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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