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USA 1982
produced by
James Beshears, Robert L. Fenton (executive), Max J. Rosenberg (executive) for Jensen Farley Pictures
directed by James Beshears
starring Joan Collins, Michael Morgan, Shell Kepler, Lanny Horn, Erin Donovan, Renee Harris, Mark Brown, Lee Purcell, Carrie Snodgress, Wings Hauser, John Romano, Joy Michael, Newell Alexander, Deedee Downs, Ernestine Jackson, Bill Knight, Rosemary Alexander, Howard Storm, Beverly Todd, Mel Welles, Candace Bowen, Stephen Gustafson, Victor Paul, Betty Thomas, Jack Warford, Kathryn Butterfield, Ali Giron, Joan Rowe, Michelle Bauer, Lindsay Freeman, Annie Ample, Mary McKinley, Barbara Peckinpaugh
written by Maurice Peterson, Don Safran, music by Anthony R. Jones, Jim Witzel

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD!

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned)

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Young Tommy (Michael Morgan) has been best friends and classmates with Sheila (Erin Donovan) for years, so when he and his best friend Ralph (Lanny Horn) start a band, he quite naturally wants her to handle the vocals - and is crushed when she turns him down as she trains to be a championship swimmer. Tommy turns to her best friend Lisa (Shell Kepler) to do the singing, but she completely lacks talent - as a singer, but she's a killer bassist who usually does her playing while on a skateboard. Tommy gets third time lucky though with Sheila's other best friend Cookie (Renee Harris), who having been brought up singing gosple turns out to be a natural fit. Plus she's kind of in love with the band's guitarist Mix (Mark Brown) anyways. Ralph meanwhile is really into Lisa, but she's into rockstar Reddog (Wings Hauser), and lets him seduce her at their first meeting - but all she gets from it is V.D. In the meantime, Tommy has to learn that while Sheila is focussed on nothing but swimming, her mother (Joan Collins) actually has the hots for him. And Cookie is grounded after her conservative dad (Bill Knight) finds out she's seeing (and having sex with) Mix. And tomorrow's the band's debut concert, too ...

In a very early non-porn performance, Michelle Bauer plays one of Tommy's groupies in a dream sequence.


Now I won't lie, this is not the best high school comedy ever, it meanders a bit too much for that and seems to lose several narrative threads in the process, and it leans too much on genre tropes. But while it's not a great film as such, it's a pretty perfect timecapsule, representing not only the typical brand of humour of films of its ilk, but also actually playing up clichés, quite besides the then almost obligatory helping of tits and ass. And don't get me wrong, there's nothing at all subtle about this movie, but that's exactly why it's quite such entertaining nostalgia.




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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from